Posted on 06/16/2004 2:17:06 PM PDT by Willie Green
For education and discussion only. Not for commercial use.
LONDON (AFP) - It was one of the more unusual requests insurance underwriter Jonathan Thomas had received: Could he please draw up a policy to protect an unnamed star against the loss of his chest hair?
Ever the professional, Thomas and his team of experts at London's Creechurch Underwriting got down to work, compiling a four-page document which details every possible eventuality.
A payout would be triggered "if, in the opinion of two independent medical referees, the insured person has suffered loss of more than 85 percent of his hair covering the front of his torso", it says.
"We drafted a policy wording that would try to objectively measure whether they would have a loss," Thomas told AFP on Wednesday.
"The key thing with these sorts of policies is not the breadth of coverage, it's actually being able to justify financially that someone would suffer that sort of loss if they lost their chest hair," he said.
The policy is thus far only a speculative draft, and Thomas has not been told the name of the hirsute man in question.
"It could be that someone had a particular advertising contract that was associated with their chest," said Thomas, whose company is part of the Lloyd's insurance market.
"If you're going on stage and you're Tom Jones then, yes, you can wear a chest wig," he said, referring to the famously woolly Welsh singer.
"But nobody in their right minds wants anybody to know that Tom Jones wears a chest wig -- if there was an advertising campaign going alongside that, the advertisers would have to pull the campaign."
The policy is only valid for "accidental bodily injury" and -- as is the way with insurance -- has a lengthy list of exclusions.
If the star was to be left with a bald torso through war, revolution, radioactive contamination or terrorism -- sorry, no payout.
Their lifestyle would also have to be circumscribed, ruling out activities as varied as fire-breathing and -- a measure that sums up the sheer caution inherent to insurance brokers -- pregnancy and child-birth.
Wait a minute. Are you sure it's his chest we're talking about here?
David Hasselhoff?
Hmmm... Pierce Brosnan?
Janet Reno?
He was right.
How about back hair? Suppose someone's really proud of a Black Forest he's got going back there?
Back! Get Back!
i feel kind of bad having a laugh at Marteen's expense like this...
Beauty being in the eye of the beholder, it's not for me to say; but my wife says I have a "hunky chest."
Don't feel too bad, there's probably going to be some form of payback.
if your beholder finds you beauteous, then i say you are just right!
shhhhh..... don't tell marteen that i am going to be on vaca in Hawaii next week, lest he take the opportunity to defame me...
Don't worry. He probably gets a discount 'nat at Pittsburgh Beauty Academy.
The students need to be challenged before they're allowed to graduate.
they are especially adept at the full body wax....
ew!!!
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