-All the stuff they DIDN'T tell me! Like who REALLY shot Kennedy!
-The way they'd mess with the clocks to short us on our breaks!
-The asteroids that are about to SLAM into the earth, destroying all life as we know it.
The sneaks! This is an outrage! I DEMAND reparations when this calamity is over!
Dude - It was posted in the "real" lunchroom. Oh, man, don't tell me that you fell for that sign that said "Cafeteria"?!!??!! Do you mean to tell me that you didn't meet a single alien ambassador while you worked your way from GS11 to GS13? And the clock thing - that was really just the side effect of the time travel experiments going on in the basement. The deal was that we would steal 5 minutes from the "cafeteria" every day and transfer it to the real lunchroom.
Kennedy committed suicide, by the way. Back in 1949. The guy in the car was really his security double who was about to tell the world about a hidden asteroid that's going to smack into the earth in June 2004.
Anyway, nice chatting. Did I mention the government time travel stuff? It should warm your heart to know that all present and former government employees - 'cause we're in on the secret - will get to time jump over this whole "end of the world as we know it" thing and emerge as an intact government in 2104. I'll see you then.... What? You mean you didn't get the secret passcodes to the back door? Too bad. That's a bummer.
AHHHHH!!! Your Killing me!!!! That's FUNNY!!!
I swear, I must have missed all that stuff because they were drugging our Coke machine!!