This face wants to know, "When are people going to face the reality?"
Posted on 05/21/2004 5:24:24 AM PDT by BigWaveBetty
1 . Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
3. OK.... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does that make the Tennessee Titans?
4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?
5. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?
10. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
12. 13.. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me .....they're cramming for their final exam.
16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks , so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? toothpicks?
17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?
Bonus:
This face wants to know, "When are people going to face the reality?"
Here's a link to a list of activist groups receiving financial support from the Heinz Family Foundation:
http://www.activistcash.com/foundation.cfm
Interesting stuff. They're all wild eyed anti's.
I've had my share of those ugly ones. So I will not make a comment.
Yep - if you've ever been a bride's maid, you've been badly dressed.
Oh well, it's just $$$.
If you think the dems are wicked (and you're right, they are) you should see what some little perps at The Weekly Standard said about Peggy Noonan in this weeks issue. I'd like to get my scalpel on the little twerp who wrote the blurb on her appearance on Jeopardy.
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Okay, this makes me, "Hmmmmm....." |
And, next frame, please.
Actually, the age of the computer and its crashing without my saving has added a whole new level of challenge in that area.
She reminds me of Jackie.
I said Hmmmm, not Mmmmmmmm, you devil.
Bill Clinton, who as president professed to be in favor of campaign finance reform, will be in Manhattan this week raising funds for one of the Democratic "527" organizations set up to raise soft money, which the McCain-Feingold Act seeks to prohibit.
Clinton is listed with Iowa Gov. Tom Vilsack and West Virginia Gov. Bob Wise [who, like Clinton, has affairs with various women on the govt. payroll, though I can't for the life of me see why any woman would give that oily creature a second look] as "special guests" Thursday evening for a "private dinner" at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel raising money for the Democratic Governor Media Fund. The price of admission: $5,000, $10,000 or $25,000.
The fund is described in the invitation to the dinner as "a new 527 political organization" that will run "unlimited independent issue ads" in states where more money is needed. "We will make sure," says the invitation, "voters are aware of the failed policies of the Bush administration." Today's column
Critics might be plugging "Shrek 2" as the funniest thing since, well, the first "Shrek," but it's also rumored to be a film with heart – enough heart that actor Antonio Banderas got all choked up upon seeing the premiere. During a screening of the animated movie at France's Cannes Film Festival last week, Banderas (who lends his voice to the character of Puss-in-Boots) ended up sobbing and holding the hand of Justin Timberlake, who was seated nearby.
"I was kind of crying at the end of the thing," Banderas told the press assembled for the screening. "It was kinda funny, because there is a very romantic moment at the end of the movie. My character says, 'I wanna cry,' and I was crying."
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/features/20040522-9999-lz1c22ratedg.html
Fabled storyteller William Shakespeare met his match Monday in the fabulous Judi Dench. Dame Judi, as she has been styled since 1988, claims she is no writer, but she certainly can hold the attention of a crowd. Her anecdotes and reminiscences of a long acting life were a highlight of Shakespeare Theatre Company's annual Will Award in the Mandarin Oriental hotel....
"The company" on this occasion included Chelsea Clinton, who said a few words about happy times past when her parents recited Shakespeare to her .... WashTimes
OMG
Take me home, country road.
There were four stories devoted to clinton's speech for the Apollo Theater event held by the MoveOn.org voter fund and Voices for Working Families.
http://www.grandforks.com/mld/grandforks/8644129.htm
Nothing to see here, move along...
Now had GWB spoken to some radical right wing group we would be suffering endless coverage of that.
Reporting in. Currently raining (again). The nearest tornado was 70 miles to the North. It sounds like things were pretty hairy near your farm. I'll go drag a Register link in as a FYI for you.
http://www.dmregister.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040522/NEWS04/405220387/1001/NEWS
Just kidding (lest I just caused you a bout of projectile emesis).
Gran, thanks for the storm linkage - I wish it had gone through N.Texas...
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