I recommend a reverse-blade sword :) Seriously, in addition to getting a gun and learning some basic self-defense, I'd encourage you to look into some home security equipment. There's a company in Evergreen, Colorado called Phoenix Systems, Inc. which has a mail-order catalog I sometimes use that sells reasonably-priced personal and home security equipment--motion detectors, alarms, booby traps, stun guns, etc. You should be able to get their catalog by calling 303-277-0305.
Yeah - Jen prolly won't be comin' home all plastered the way I did...