"It just happened". "Right. It just happened. Could have happened to anybody? It was an accidnet right. You tripped, slipped, and accidently stuck (censored) my wife. Geez, I'm so sorry Mrs. H. I guess this isn't my week"
""There's a new invention out. It's called the razor."" ""Too risky, I might start thinkin' about you and slash my wrist"
"I didn't vote for you, you sonovabitch!"(Bruce Willis throwing a glass at a senator's billboard)