The Hobbit Hole VII - But not yet weary are our feet...

[TalonDJ]

Hmm I think my mom would get to into it and send me more profiles they I could ever hope to follow up on.

[RosieCotton]

I don't do "mingling" well. Not in party time situations, anyway. I tend to attach myself to someone I know and follow them around mutely, feeling like I'm in the way.

But in a group with shared interests...even a few...it's not the same thing. And on-line of course is different again. Entmoot wasn't awkward at all - we already knew one another pretty well.

[TalonDJ]

Hmmm a shy ent.... funny thought hehehe

[JenB]

I don't think any of us at Entmoot were ents!

This is Entmoot! Or was Entmoot. Sigh.

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

But based on Hair and ecurb, it can work!

Not just Hair and ecurbh! ;)

[msdrby]

Heh heh heh, ole Vern had to run to Canada to escape Elliot Ness and the boys.

LOL, I had forgotten about that. (I was referring to my family moonshine maker.)

[RosieCotton]

More typos.

It's nearing the end of a busy weekend. That's my excuse...yeah.

[JenB]

I think a lot of us here are kind of introverted in real life. It's probably why we communicate so well online. We're used to thinking and reading, and maybe don't read people's facial expressions as well as we should. Online, everything's safe, behind text; nobody cares if your hair looks good or whether you're in the same dress as anyone else.

[JenB]

Well, some of us watched the whole Hair'n'ecurb thing, so it sprang to mind.

Backgammon is easier online, it seems...

[HairOfTheDog]

And I'm feeling very, very old and very, very single.

Aww - I had ten years on ya! OK - So I am not your role model. Sorry doll.

[Bear_in_RoseBear]

It's interesting, off the top of my head at least three of the couples here originated online. It used to be a lot more rare.

[Fedora]

Exactly. And... in some, not all, cases it has the effect of telling teens/young adults that their parents don't trust them. Not talking about sex, but about making important decisions. And yes, people can be morons and screw up their whole lives, but at the same time, it's about the most important decision you'll make.

Yeah--which is an issue whenever parents are concerned about their children's decisions, and especially so in that type of decision. I think how that's handled will reflect long-term issues in the parent-child relation, i.e. parents will tend to either be too overprotective, too lenient, or comfortable cooperating supportively in their child's decision-making process because they've developed that type of relationship with their child; and vice-versa from the children's side of the process. Unfortunately today there tend to be major rifts between parents and children in the autonomy area and children tend to make marriage decisions leaning towards the rebellion extreme; I think maybe in the days of arranged marriages it tended more towards the overprotective extreme; the happy medium has always been rare, I suspect.

And who knows when people are ready? My mom had two kids by the time she was the age I am now. That situation has worked well. Wouldn't work for me, I need just a little time on my own before I settle down again.

That's a good idea. What's the right timing for you might well be different from what was right for your mom, since you're different people in different situations.

[Fedora]

Internet groups can help that - though there is an element of pig in a poke with that. But based on Hair and ecurb, it can work!

Yeah, I think that can work as well--or as badly--as any other medium; you just have to approach it wisely as you would any other way of meeting people.

[JenB]

Yes, I think you have good points there. I would listen to my parents' advice, but they'd never think of saying, "you can't marry so-and-so". They'd imply that it was a bad idea and I really shouldn't, but never forbid me to make that choice on my own.

Of course, since I don't believe in divorce, I have to be careful to make a good choice.

[Fedora]

Crowd control will be much easier now that I have a new source for weapons grade cheese. muwahahahaaaa

It's very handy for that--although it has a strange effect on some crowds:

[Fedora]

Forgot I was going to say, in large groups I get very introverted. Online I can feel more comfortable. Ask people who were at Entmoot, I wasn't shy there because I knew everyone so well. Then ask anyone who's been to any party with me and you'll get a very different picture.

Same here: I can be the shyest person in the group or the class clown depending on the situation.

[JenB]

And are you confused as to which one is the 'real' you? Or are they both sides, or masks?

[Fedora]

I don't do "mingling" well. Not in party time situations, anyway. I tend to attach myself to someone I know and follow them around mutely, feeling like I'm in the way.

I struggle with the same problem. One thing I've done to try to overcome that is to practice biting the bullet and making small talk with random people. The anxiety never goes away, but it helps.

[Fedora]

Hmmm a shy ent.... funny thought hehehe

Ents aren't shy, just not hasty--hrooom, hrooom--because from an Ent's perspective, if someone is worth getting to know, it's worth taking a long time :)

[JenB]

I think everyone should have a list of their interests tattooed across their forehead. Then you could say, "So you like Monty Python too! No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

It would make icebreaking easier!