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Or, for example, I learn to scuba dive.

Everything will be okay UNTIL I STATE that I have learned to scuba dive.

At which point an octopus comes out of nowhere and attempts to squeeze my head.

I've experienced that rule! :) The first time I went to test for my scuba diving certification, it was October and the water was very cold, and I ended up having a bad experience with near-hypothermia and pressure damage to my right ear. I got my certification on a later dive, but now I can't enjoy it because the hypothermia experience makes me averse to cold water and the damage to my ear keeps me from diving deeper than about 10-15 feet! So these days it's snorkeling in the summer only for me :(

I learned to snorkel in a vo-tech pool that had a 13 foot 4 inch deep end for the high-dives.
(It was a T shaped pool as well.)

I practiced 'hovering' in the deep end.
Basically I deep breath a few times and then dive.
Well, I was upside down, hovering in the deep end when the largest guy of the group decided to high dive, above me.
I was looking upwards between my feet, since I was upside down, and wondering who would be stupid enough to be on the high dive when no-one was supposed ot be there.
*Ba-SPLASH*
He bellyflopped from the high dive.
I did not know that one could feel a pressure change from someone landing in the water above you.
Cripes that hurt.
Haven't done anything similar since, and haven't found anyplace to do such anyway.