I saw a great deal on a ‘68 Mustang. A friend and I took a trailer and went to see the seller. The price was beyond reasonable. As we loaded, the seller, a pleasant exceptionally well-sorted man literally ran to outbuildings, bringing back additional parts worth hundreds of dollars and throwing them into my truck. In conversation he said his wife had said it was her or the car. As we drove away my friend said, “It’s not the car.” I agreed.
A similar thing happened in my Mustang club. A guy sold his ‘70 Mach 1 Mustang at dump-it prices. He said his wife had told him it was her or the car. We looked at each other in the meeting and somebody said, “If there’s a divorce pool, I want October.” That was two months hence. As news of his divorce reached us second hand, we don’t know the exact date, but every man in the club knew selling the car was not going to solve the marriage problem.
Over my 69 years of life, I’ve noticed this over and over. A man with a situation he can’t deal with in his relationship will develop a hobby that keeps him away from the relationship. Usually, it’s in garage. But gardening or a job that has overtime works. The problem with most of these solutions is the woman is abusing the man and if he isn’t there to abuse, she’ll go the next step.
The guy with project car was trying to treat a relationship illness with what he viewed as the obvious means of keeping the relationship and his sanity. The thing is she’s treating her mental problems by abusing him and if he isn’t there to use, she has to elevate the situation. (BTW, going to court is a losing proposition. He needs to move as far away from her as possible. This shows all the signs that she’ll kill him. She’s an abuser.)
A project car is a lot like a woman’s shoe collection. It’s a hobby, it costs too much, and it causes marital grief.
Try telling your lady that you got rid of half of her shoe collection......the left ones. Then duck.
EC
My ex wife was an abuser.
The stigma of being an abused husband is a terrible cross to bear.
Nobody believes that the sweet little woman that you married is indeed a monster.
Most men (like me) just keep it to themselves, rather than try to explain it to others.
Just get the hell out and get away.
Let her have as much as she wants.
Just get your sanity back
There’s a lot of guys that have been convinced that putting up with this is “being a good guy”. It’s not. It’s just a form of abuse and it is VERY common. Women don’t beat you physically, they find other means and, as it usually isn’t “breaking the law”, they get away with it...which just reinforces the behavior.
For me, it’s guns and audiophile gear. I’ve got multiple turntables in various stages of restoration. Example: a pair of Garrard Zero 100 turntables I picked up at auction stupid cheap. They are old idler drive designs that sound damn good with a bit of care and the right cartridge. My better half is benignly tolerant of my obsessions.
BTTT!!!