A few things:
1. Bite your lip about the child support. You married into this situation of your own free will. (I’d assume?) It is what it is. Let it go and I’ll bet you’ll see a lot of tension go away between the two of you, too! (Speaking from experience, here...)
2. Get yourselves a good tax man. There are a number of LEGAL ways to get around outrageous taxes in any state. How do you think the rich keep so much of their money? Employ the same strategy for yourselves! I’ve always had ‘multiple streams of income’ and there are tons of ways to save on taxes. I actually made it a priority of mine to do so. I retired at 57 partially due to that. And, also having no debt and living below my means and making $ in real estate (easier to do in the Midwest, for sure!)
3. Look into cutting expenses wherever you can to create a better cash flow each month and/or pay off any debt that you have. Really simple things like packing lunches, cutting out take-out coffee, lowering your thermostat, changing insurance policies/companies, cutting out Dish or Cable TV, staying out of restaurants...there are dozens of places on-line that have suggestions. It truly pays off in the long run! Also, make a plan and show your husband what you’re doing to help HIM be successful, but not in any sort of condescending way. Be a Team Player!
4. Dave Ramsey. My hero! Look him up.
5. Good Luck!
Know about Dave Ramsey.
We do #3 routinely, we cut the cord a loonnnng time ago and we seldom eat out—hubs and I love to cook
#1 Acceptance (yes it’s there and kid number two who is being forced into college after mom let said kid fail all the way through High School) will be 20 this year—hubs can’t claim her on his taxes but mom will.)
#2 Went hunting for bookkeeping/tax services so that I dont’ have to do it “in my spare time” We have an accountant in the family now (my son from a previous marriage’s father-in-law) but I’m hesitant to hire within the family. so I get stuck with the job.
My profession is IT (hardware/software) and I also manage the business website (leaning PHP and MySQL). Tried to farm THAT out and that fell through.