“It’s an opportunity to feel better about yourself, showing love to some other man’s kid. It’s not the kid’s fault.”
Exactly,and it usually turns out well.
A young woman I used to work with lost her father when she and her sister were three and four. The mother remarried about 5 years later,two more kids were born,and the second husband was a GREAT father to all of them.
The part that impressed me is the deceased husband’s parents were considered grandparents to all four kids: in other words these kids had three sets of grandparents that were included in all holidays,celebrations and their lives.
.
.
There are two concepts that I have valued in life related to love.
The first is this:
If you share a sorrow, it hurts half as much.
If you share a joy, it will be twice as joyous.
We can reduce our pain, and enhance our joy.
The second concept is the old McCartney line in the song, “The End”.
“And, in the end
The love you take
is equal to the love you make.”
I always thought this was worded awkwardly, but he did get the point across.
Since I don’t believe love is always reciprocated, I have come to believe that it’s up to us to give love, and let the chips fall where they will.
Still, if you don’t express your love to others, it will be very hard for them to express their love to you.
In life there are times when you just love. You don’t worry about what you get out of it. It’s enough to make someone else happy, if you can.
Children need these things.
1. expressed love
2. structured years
3. a set of values
4. limits
5. a place they know they can find peace and safety
Of course they need water, foot, and shelter/clothing, but those things are a given.
If you love a child, what’s the worst that could happen?
You give them what they need, and let them venture off from there.
If they honor you or not, if they live a good life or not, you did the best you could, and that should comfort you, even if all is lost.
So yes, love the children from a previous marriage. Be proud of yourself in the end.