Okay, one fairly short grease gun war story. With 70th Armor in Germany in the 1960s, it was still the standard weapon for tankers, and our outfit, assigned and attached to an Infantry Division had 51 M60 tanks in the tank companies and 3 M60A1s at HQ company, all with two M3 or M3A1 grease guns each. Just before one happy payday, then once per month in the US Army, a notice came down from Division HQ that ordered all payroll guards armed with M1911A1 pistols had to be *qualified*- not just trained, but on orders as having fired a qualification score, a noisy accident having occurred at a previous payroll payout at the post Finance Office.
No problem for me; I was on the NATO LeClerc Match team, and had record scored with pistol, rifle, SMG, machinegun and tank weapons; I could run anything. But finding two other guys available for the duty [a security clearance was involved, too] was a bit more of a chore, but I found one new guy in our mortar section just out of AIT who'd fired for record when trained in the States, and another in battalion scouts, same deal. I got them pistols and three mags apiece, and was ready to go next day...and another DF came in: the orders had to have been issued IN EUROPE [USAREUR] Okay-fine. They want to play games, we play games.
I caught the First Sergeant and CO, said the order applied to pistols, right? So we just won't wear pistols. Only very slight problem was that the payroll officer, a 2nd Lieutenant, hadn't qualified on orders with his .45 pistol...so I got him an M14 rifle, which he wore on a sling, magazine in place. The one I got him had a bipod and selector switch, too.
My two commandos I gave M79 grenade launchers. With live grenades, which fit in an M14 vammo pouch okay, plus one each up the spout. And I took a grease gun, and two of the 3-magazine carriers [which I never used on 5km zone border tours, preferring to use a buttpack that held the mags horizontally in back instead] on my belt. Let's go charge the castle!
We hit the finance center, and the door guards [with a .45 pistol each] just had a fit. And when I cleared my grease gun and let the bolt clank shut, it sounded like a manhole cover being dropped: CLUNK! and everyone stared. Which was the idea. Then one of the Blooper twins broke open his elephant gun, takes out the live round, and...can't really do anything with it, since his ammo pouch is full, and pockets aren't really the right way to go with a high explosive grenade. Then the other guy does the same. And the payroll officer, with an M14 across his back wanders in. If I'd thought of it, I'd have given him a bayonet, too. He signs for the loot, and to carry the moneylocker, our two grenadiers had to reload, which made a lot of finance clerks real nervous. Meanwhile, I'm covering everybody with the greasegun in my hands and myt back to the wall; once the boss signed for it, we were responsible for the payroll and the kid gloves were off.
And off we went, in a M151 roly-poly jeep and backup Dodge 3/4 ton Weapons Carrier in the event of a vehicle breakdown. Nobody, N-O-B-O-D-Y interfered with the crazies from the 70th Armor.
Just before next payday, Division HQ advised us that either stateside qualifications or USAREUR unit quals with the pistol would be considered sufficient training for future payroll escorts. Of course as tankers, we made it a point to wear our shoulder holsters instead of belt rigs.
Tankers? We're a crazy bunch,
What you call roadkill,
We call lunch.
