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Study Shows Journalists Have Defective Brains [fake satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 21 May 2017 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/21/2017 5:11:26 PM PDT by John Semmens

A study conducted for the London Press Club by neuroscientist Tara Swart found that journalists have a below-average ability to regulate their emotions, suppress biases, solve complex problems, switch between tasks, and show creative and flexible thinking.

"It's kind of ironic when you think about it," Swart observed. "Here we have a profession that is entrusted to inform the general population and sees itself as a guardian of truth. Yet, this study shows their brains are operating at a lower level than those of the average person."

CNN's Jim Acosta challenged the study calling it "the worst slander of a profession in the annals of world history. It could hardly be more obvious that Swart is on Putin's payroll. What she sees as a lack of creative and flexible thinking is refuted by the daily creativity we have shown in generating scandals against Trump and the flexibility we have demonstrated in shifting the focus of public discussion using unverified sources."

Acosta bragged that "some of our best ideas are born during 'happy hour.' Because Trump never imbibes he cuts himself off from this tried and true well of inspiration that writers have used for centuries. Look at the great journalist Hunter Thompson. I'd take his lubricated output over Trump's soberest thoughts any day of the week."

Apprised of Acosta's remarks, Swart replied that "while Mr. Acosta was not part of the group we studied, his comments are consistent with our findings." Modify message

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,263693.0.html


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: media; satire; trump

1 posted on 05/21/2017 5:11:26 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Taverns are full of reliable sources. Especially near closing time.


2 posted on 05/21/2017 5:20:43 PM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? -Homer Simpson)
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To: John Semmens

If a study was done it would find journalist commit rape at a higher amount.


3 posted on 05/21/2017 5:20:55 PM PDT by Democrats hate too much
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To: John Semmens

Journalist love stories attacking priests as pedofiles. I have always thought the church should combat this with studies on journalist and their rates of sexual crimes.


4 posted on 05/21/2017 5:22:42 PM PDT by Democrats hate too much
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To: John Semmens

I’m a few months from 84 and the only reporters that I ever trusted were Clark Gable and Cary Grant...


5 posted on 05/21/2017 5:23:48 PM PDT by SuperLuminal (Where is another agitator for republicanism like Sam Adams when we need him?)
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To: John Semmens

LIEberal “journalists” most assuredly have defective brains!

For that matter, ALL LIEberals are defective! Brainwise and otherwise!


6 posted on 05/21/2017 5:39:27 PM PDT by Taxman (Replace the income tax with the FAIRtax and abolish the IRS!)
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To: John Semmens

Wait now. It’s satire, but fake, so it must be the truth. But we knew that anyway.


7 posted on 05/21/2017 6:04:51 PM PDT by SgtHooper (If you remember the 60's, YOU WEREN'T THERE!)
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To: SgtHooper

....Wait now. It’s satire, but fake, so it must be the truth....

And the more fake it is, the more “journalists” emphasize it as fact. We


8 posted on 05/21/2017 6:08:34 PM PDT by Sasparilla ( I'm Not tired of Winning)
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To: John Semmens

[fake satire]...

Well it has to be true then!


9 posted on 05/21/2017 6:10:28 PM PDT by mountainlion (Live well for those that did not make it back.)
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To: Taxman

Defective brains caused by vegetarian diet.
No protein, brains shrinking, rats getting stupider..


10 posted on 05/21/2017 6:14:58 PM PDT by Leo Carpathian (FReeeeepeesssssed)
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To: Leo Carpathian

LOL!


11 posted on 05/21/2017 6:22:49 PM PDT by Taxman (Replace the income tax with the FAIRtax and abolish the IRS!)
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To: John Semmens

May be satire, but it is true.


12 posted on 05/21/2017 8:25:56 PM PDT by mulligan
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To: John Semmens

Scientific Study: Journalist, (aka Mediots), Are a Bunch of Drunks With Sub-Average Brain Function!

townhall.com ^ | 5/21/2017 | Guy Benson
Posted on 5/21/2017, 6:05:22 AM by rktman

According to a study released Thursday by neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart in association with the London Press Club, the highest functions of the human brain operate at a lower level in journalists than the average population. Her research titled “Study Into The Mental Resilience of Journalists,” blames journalists’ cognitive shortcomings on dehydration caused by excessive alcohol consumption along with poor diet, including higher levels of sugar and caffeine. Less than 5% of journalists drink enough — or any — water while 41% drank more than 18 alcoholic drinks per week.

(Excerpt) Read more at townhall.com ...

http://freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/3553883/posts


13 posted on 05/21/2017 8:49:02 PM PDT by Grampa Dave (120+ days without Hilliarly/Huma as POTUS! Thanks, President Trump for this great reality gift!)
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