[gov_bean_ counter]

There is also an element of projection where the wife accuses the husband of the very behaviors she engages in.

[ctdonath2]

Indeed.
“You lazy jackass! You don’t do anything! You won’t do anything I ask you to!”
Now, who is that addressed to, and whose exit would cause everything to come crashing down? (vs whose exit would be regarded with a sigh of relief?)

[Mr. Douglas]

There is also an element of projection where the wife accuses the husband of the very behaviors she engages in.

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This was the situation in my relationship. I needed anger management - except my MO is to go “Mr. Spock” in arguments while she flies off the handle. And then she would get angry at me for not getting angry because it meant I didn’t care enough to get angry.

Interestingly, it is because my parents didn’t fight (and neither did the parents of my current wife). However, hers did, and now she does, with whatever boyfriend she has. I get this information from my daughters, who volunteer it.

We were just a bad mix and my Christian beliefs and respect for my three daughters is what kept it together, and would have to this day, had she not pulled the plug on it.