My man. Well, actually one of the Elder Gods from R'lyeh, which I am informed is right outside of Kansas City.
Here's a little light reading to introduce you to our next President: The Call of Cthulhu by H.P. Lovecraft. Be sure to read it late at night...
I’ve been to Kansas City.
There are a lot of scary things there.
And I don’t read any scary books before I go to sleep.
I already have awful nightmares.
The worst one is when I dream I’m flying.
“Ensure your seat back is in the upright and locked position.”
And I can’t lock my seat upright......and the flight attendant is coming....and I’m really struggling.....and the flight attendant is getting closer.....and the guy next to me is laughing....and the flight attendant is almost there....
And then I wake up and realize it was just a dream....and then I see that my pillow has become one of those small airline pillows and then I start screaming.
And then the wife hits me and tells me to shut up.