Reading this, I envy those Jews who love Israel (as do I) and worship the God of our fathers, and reverence the land of their ancestors.
But as a Christian I have always thought myself part Jewish, since three fourths of our Bible consists of the Old Testament. And Jesus was a Jew, of the house of David.
You might try what we did...I am a retired Pastor and after retirement the wife an I started attending a Messianic Jewish Synagogue...it has been a wonderful experience...their reverence for the Torah...the belief that Jesus is Messiah (they call him Yeshua-which was his given Hebrew name and it means “The Lord is Salvation). Paul said the gentile believers are “grafted into “ the root of Jesse...so this is why you have felt you are a part of them ...you are...Amen!
I consider myself Jewish by adoption. The Hebrew laws concerning adoption decree that an adopted child be given the same rank, privileges, rights and blessings as the firstborn of the family. Christ is the Firstborn of my adoptive Family. Nothing more need be said.