Stoner grad students. They sit around and get high on mushrooms and record their sessions. When they’re sober, they turn them into “research” papers.
If you think I’m kidding, I know of 2 peer-reviewed, grant-funded research theses done EXACTLY this way.
I keep thinking back to that petition that was circulated on a SanFran university regarding the banning of dihydrogen monoxide as dangerous to life.