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Rubio Blames Trump for Vulgar Campaign [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Mar 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/07/2016 9:24:59 AM PST by John Semmens

Currently in third place in the delegate count for the GOP presidential nomination, Sen. Marco Rubio lashed out at front runner Donald Trump, blaming him for "the descent into vulgarity that has characterized this race."

"He called me a 'loser' and a 'choke artist,'" Rubio complained. "I had to strike back and humiliate him in some way. Challenging the size of his penis was the obvious irrefutable barb. He can boast all he wants about his prowess with women, but if he doesn't drop trow and show the world, everyone will know I am right about his wee willy."

The Senator upped the ante by offering to fully bare himself at the next debate to show he is not bluffing. "I've been at plenty of foam parties and have been able to compare myself with hundreds of other guys," he bragged. "I'm confident that Trump will be the lesser man in any head-to-head competition with me."

In related news, GOP establishment stiff, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney inadvertently bolstered Trump's candidacy by denouncing him as "outside the mainstream of the Republican Party. The American people need a GOP that puts aside partisan confrontation and works across-the-aisle with Democrats for the good of the country. Trump is not the man to lead our Party in this noble endeavor."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=197402.0


TOPICS: Government; Politics
KEYWORDS: romney; rubio; satire; trump

1 posted on 03/07/2016 9:24:59 AM PST by John Semmens
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