Al Bundy: Ho, ho, ho. What do you want for Christmas little girl?
Denise: A husband to yell at and torture.
Al Bundy: Well, not this year. But I’m pretty sure you’ll get one.
________________________________________________________________________________
Al Bundy: A fat woman came into the shoe store today and wanted a pair of shoes to wear to a Christmas party. I told her to stand on her hands, put a star on her butt, and go as the world’s largest, ugliest Christmas tree. Then she has the nerve to get mad at me because she’s fat.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Al Bundy: Ho, ho, ho. What do you want for Christmas little boy?
Matt: I don’t really want anything. I just want and end to pollution. Let’s start here. You’re breath stinks!
[the boy sprays mouthwash into Al’s mouth]
Al Bundy: Ahh! Always remember that Santa hates you.
Matt: [sarcastic] Oh, yeah? What are you going to do? Chant a spell and turn me into a frog, a bum, or a shoe salesman?
____________________________________________________________________________________
Merry Christmas.
Best show, ever.