But great news for humanity.
Sayonara, Vegans.
Plants have rights:
http://www.npr.org/2012/10/26/160940869/recognizing-the-right-of-plants-to-evolve
Vegans are mean & insensitive !!
And plants scream when they’re pulled!
OMG ... Well, I’ll need to kill all the deer that raid my pear tree, and the rabbits who raid my garden. Guess were just supposed to grow the plants, then let them rot in place so as to not offend some squeamish granola bitch out there.
Don’t disenfranchise plants
It’s all covered in, “The Secret Life of Plants” which came out in 1973. A number of interesting experiments including putting a galvanometer on a plant and boiling brine shrimp across the room. The author got a response in the plant. As I recall most of the experiments were pretty low order that could be picked apart quit easily. Regardless, it was a fun read.
And they metabolize CO2!
All things given the “gift of life” cling to it in any way that they can.
Let’s play “spot the vague movie reference.”
Keziah: No, thanks, I’m a fruitarian.
Max: I didn’t realize that.
William: And, ah, what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feelings, so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that’ve actually fallen off a tree or bush- that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right, right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...?
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!
At least we don’t eat our meat while it’s still alive.
That is, until a study comes out showing that noodles can feel pain.