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Got any good April Fools Jokes?
Me | April 1, 2014 | Me

Posted on 04/01/2014 5:24:05 AM PDT by Gefn

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To: Gefn

Obamacare reaches goal enrollment as of March 31.


41 posted on 04/01/2014 6:05:38 AM PDT by TomGuy
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To: don-o

People fail to understand that bible quote. It was not about amount of wealth at all - see Solomon for that debunking - it was about loving money more then God and about opportunity to turn to God, to realize one needed him. Rich people have easier lives then poor people generally, less hardships - less chance of hitting bottom.

Proverbs 10:22,
The blessing of the LORD brings wealth, without painful toil for it.

Ecclesiastes 5:19
Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God.

Jesus never taught we were to give our charity obligations to Caesar.


42 posted on 04/01/2014 6:06:12 AM PDT by Mechanicos (When did we amend the Constitution for a 2nd Federal Prohibition?)
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To: C. Edmund Wright; Vaquero

Read the next couple of verses - and it almost totally changes how you’ll interpret 23-24. Remember, Jesus had no “verse” break between his words…..25-26 are CRITICAL to understanding 23-24.


The scripture leading up to the verse is important as well. The man valued his wealth over God. Jesus didn’t tell everyone to sell everything they had; not even the wealthy Centurian with the sick servent. Abraham was a wealthy man and God found him to be Righteous.

Matthew 19:16-20

Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”

“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”

“Which ones?” he inquired.

Jesus replied, “‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, “Who then can be saved?”

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Peter answered him, “We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?”

Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.


43 posted on 04/01/2014 6:08:40 AM PDT by Rides_A_Red_Horse (Why do you need a fire extinguisher when you can call the fire department?)
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To: Quality_Not_Quantity

I’m sorry your joke didn’t go as planned. I truly am.


44 posted on 04/01/2014 6:09:19 AM PDT by Gefn (All good kitties go to the Rainbow Bridge;Holly 2/1999-12/2013)
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To: Gefn


45 posted on 04/01/2014 6:10:32 AM PDT by JoeProBono (SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED;-{)
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To: WhiskeyX

That sounds like a good one,


46 posted on 04/01/2014 6:10:41 AM PDT by Gefn (All good kitties go to the Rainbow Bridge;Holly 2/1999-12/2013)
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To: Gefn

CNN Ceases Flight MH370 Reporting Until Definitive Evidence Is Discovered.


47 posted on 04/01/2014 6:12:16 AM PDT by TomGuy
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To: JoeProBono

I love your pictures. I’m honored you posted one to me!


48 posted on 04/01/2014 6:13:48 AM PDT by Gefn (All good kitties go to the Rainbow Bridge;Holly 2/1999-12/2013)
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To: Gefn

Burger king has been running ads for the new “left handed whopper”.
I thought it was pretty good. (the ad, not the whopper. Who would eat left handed food, eewww!)

CC


49 posted on 04/01/2014 6:14:12 AM PDT by Celtic Conservative (tease not the dragon for thou art crunchy when roasted and taste good with ketchup)
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To: TomGuy

Yep.


50 posted on 04/01/2014 6:16:02 AM PDT by Gefn (All good kitties go to the Rainbow Bridge;Holly 2/1999-12/2013)
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To: Celtic Conservative

Left handed whopper! That’s brilliant! My sister is a lefty!!!!

I gotta send this to her. Thank you!!!! Thank you!!!!!


51 posted on 04/01/2014 6:19:55 AM PDT by Gefn (All good kitties go to the Rainbow Bridge;Holly 2/1999-12/2013)
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To: MrB

Since many of them are black, electrical tape works well.


52 posted on 04/01/2014 6:21:29 AM PDT by TalonDJ
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I’m a 46 unmarried. I’m out of town this week. I changed my facebook status to married for April fools, just to see if anybody noticed.


53 posted on 04/01/2014 6:23:31 AM PDT by dsrtsage (One half of all people have below average IQ. In the US the number is 54%)
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To: Gefn
Top 10 Pranks
54 posted on 04/01/2014 6:25:40 AM PDT by ShadowAce (Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
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To: Celtic Conservative
... Who would eat left handed food, eewww!)

Next question

55 posted on 04/01/2014 6:25:44 AM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: MrB

For a while I had a sprayer that the trigger would stick on and it would do that randomly to people when they turned the water on. I complained about it for a while and then when it got hubby good he fixed it.


56 posted on 04/01/2014 6:26:51 AM PDT by Tammy8
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To: Tammy8

Kinda like liberal policies have to affect the people that support them before anything will be done about them.


57 posted on 04/01/2014 6:36:15 AM PDT by MrB (The difference between a Humanist and a Satanist - the latter admits whom he's working for)
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To: ShadowAce

That was wonderful.

I forgot some of them


58 posted on 04/01/2014 6:40:32 AM PDT by Gefn (All good kitties go to the Rainbow Bridge;Holly 2/1999-12/2013)
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To: Gefn
 photo OAirHead2_zpsf08293e2.jpg
59 posted on 04/01/2014 6:40:58 AM PDT by HotHunt
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To: WhiskeyX

I like the one where the high school kids release 2 young pigs, labeled #2 & #3 into the hallways.


60 posted on 04/01/2014 6:42:02 AM PDT by Quality_Not_Quantity (Liars use facts when the truth doesn't suit their purposes.)
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