Sweetheart, if you have the choice to move from a blue state to a red state, find one with the climate and lifestyle you can live with if SHTF never comes.
Join a church, make friends, keep God with you. When the time comes, if ever, you will find what you need.
Do not fear.
I guess I have this fear that even once I end up joining a Church, that God won’t be with me and I’ll be dead in a couple weeks one way or the other anyway. I am just talking about looking for a real chance of survival here.