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Gangway Or Sickbay. You Decide.
Alan Levy's Brain | 02/16/13 | Alan Levy, Gun Owner

Posted on 02/16/2013 3:35:33 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama

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To: Absolutely Nobama
I decided. Way too wordy, too much needless conversation, and too long.

I suspect you made a good point, but couldn't read the thing. Brevity is the soul of wit; this runs some 2,260 words -- give or take.

The usual newspaper editorial is limited to 600-700 words.

Rewrite!

21 posted on 02/16/2013 4:32:37 PM PST by BfloGuy (Money, like chocolate on a hot oven, was melting in the pockets of the people.)
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To: philman_36

Bookmarked for a later read. Thank you!


22 posted on 02/16/2013 4:34:17 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

Very well written and “readable”. And sadly could be a look into our not to distant future.


23 posted on 02/16/2013 4:36:04 PM PST by berdie
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To: darkwing104

Greatly appreciated! Thank you, FRiend!


24 posted on 02/16/2013 4:36:25 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama; Travis McGee

It’s pretty short. I guess it could be just one small part of a book showing how this country ends up in a civil war or something.

Well done!

Travis McGee would..er... will be proud.


25 posted on 02/16/2013 4:38:11 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: GreyHoundSailor

As I stated earlier, I envisioned Jack as your everyday Joe. That wouldn’t be in his character.


26 posted on 02/16/2013 4:38:58 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama; navymom1; Pat4ever; RIghtwardHo; Reaganite Republican; ...
+

Freep-mail me to get on or off my pro-life and Catholic List:

Add me / Remove me

Please ping me to note-worthy Pro-Life or Catholic threads, or other threads of general interest.

27 posted on 02/16/2013 4:40:41 PM PST by narses
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To: GeronL

I have this odd feeling we’ll see how realistic it is rather soon. I don’t see Boehner or McConnell stepping up to the plate and fighting the intrigues of the Evil Left anytime soon.


28 posted on 02/16/2013 4:43:03 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama
Bttt.

5.56mm

29 posted on 02/16/2013 4:43:44 PM PST by M Kehoe
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To: Absolutely Nobama

No they won’t and pointing it out will just make them sad. :p


30 posted on 02/16/2013 4:44:41 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: BfloGuy

It’s a short story, not an editorial. I don’t usually write fiction. It’s too time consuming.


31 posted on 02/16/2013 4:45:12 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: berdie

Thanks for the kind words, FRiend!


32 posted on 02/16/2013 4:47:01 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I do appreciate that, but I have many ‘everyday Joe’ neighbors who were also former trigger pullers. They all think very differently than your everyday Simpleton.


33 posted on 02/16/2013 4:48:26 PM PST by GreyHoundSailor
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To: GeronL

My beautiful wife, Mrs. Absolutely Nobama, wants me to turn this into a script for one of those Lifetime Original Movies. While I certainly appreciate her vote of confidence, I don’t think it would ever see the light of day as a book or a screenplay, unless I made Jack “Jackie” and turned him into an angry LGBT loon striking back at a religious school....


34 posted on 02/16/2013 4:55:32 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: narses

Greatly appreciated, FRiend!


35 posted on 02/16/2013 4:56:42 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: M Kehoe

Thank you, FRiend!


36 posted on 02/16/2013 4:59:11 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: GreyHoundSailor

>>They had both gone away on vacation and nobody ever heard from them again.<<

I really LOL at that!

I like your ending.


37 posted on 02/16/2013 4:59:43 PM PST by freedumb2003 (I learned everything I needed to know about racism from Colin Powell)
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To: GeronL

You got that right! LOL!!


38 posted on 02/16/2013 5:01:00 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama (The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I actually had the same thought as your better half re:movie script. So that is two votes.

It would be a labor of love to expand the story line..but I think it could sell.

Maybe not to Lifetime. Not enough emotional drama, i.e. wife poisons husband, husband has multiple wives, or pregnant teen etc.


39 posted on 02/16/2013 5:04:45 PM PST by berdie
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To: Absolutely Nobama

I agree with you, they’d never make it “our” way


40 posted on 02/16/2013 5:06:10 PM PST by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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