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Gangway Or Sickbay. You Decide.
Alan Levy's Brain
| 02/16/13
| Alan Levy, Gun Owner
Posted on 02/16/2013 3:35:33 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama
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To: Absolutely Nobama
I decided. Way too wordy, too much needless conversation, and too long.
I suspect you made a good point, but couldn't read the thing. Brevity is the soul of wit; this runs some 2,260 words -- give or take.
The usual newspaper editorial is limited to 600-700 words.
Rewrite!
21
posted on
02/16/2013 4:32:37 PM PST
by
BfloGuy
(Money, like chocolate on a hot oven, was melting in the pockets of the people.)
To: philman_36
Bookmarked for a later read. Thank you!
22
posted on
02/16/2013 4:34:17 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: Absolutely Nobama
Very well written and “readable”. And sadly could be a look into our not to distant future.
23
posted on
02/16/2013 4:36:04 PM PST
by
berdie
To: darkwing104
Greatly appreciated! Thank you, FRiend!
24
posted on
02/16/2013 4:36:25 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: Absolutely Nobama; Travis McGee
It’s pretty short. I guess it could be just one small part of a book showing how this country ends up in a civil war or something.
Well done!
Travis McGee would..er... will be proud.
25
posted on
02/16/2013 4:38:11 PM PST
by
GeronL
(http://asspos.blogspot.com)
To: GreyHoundSailor
As I stated earlier, I envisioned Jack as your everyday Joe. That wouldn’t be in his character.
26
posted on
02/16/2013 4:38:58 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: Absolutely Nobama; navymom1; Pat4ever; RIghtwardHo; Reaganite Republican; ...
+
Freep-mail me to get on or off my pro-life and Catholic List:
Add me / Remove me
Please ping me to note-worthy Pro-Life or Catholic threads, or other threads of general interest.
27
posted on
02/16/2013 4:40:41 PM PST
by
narses
To: GeronL
I have this odd feeling we’ll see how realistic it is rather soon. I don’t see Boehner or McConnell stepping up to the plate and fighting the intrigues of the Evil Left anytime soon.
28
posted on
02/16/2013 4:43:03 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: Absolutely Nobama
29
posted on
02/16/2013 4:43:44 PM PST
by
M Kehoe
To: Absolutely Nobama
No they won’t and pointing it out will just make them sad. :p
30
posted on
02/16/2013 4:44:41 PM PST
by
GeronL
(http://asspos.blogspot.com)
To: BfloGuy
It’s a short story, not an editorial. I don’t usually write fiction. It’s too time consuming.
31
posted on
02/16/2013 4:45:12 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: berdie
Thanks for the kind words, FRiend!
32
posted on
02/16/2013 4:47:01 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: Absolutely Nobama
I do appreciate that, but I have many ‘everyday Joe’ neighbors who were also former trigger pullers. They all think very differently than your everyday Simpleton.
To: GeronL
My beautiful wife, Mrs. Absolutely Nobama, wants me to turn this into a script for one of those Lifetime Original Movies. While I certainly appreciate her vote of confidence, I don’t think it would ever see the light of day as a book or a screenplay, unless I made Jack “Jackie” and turned him into an angry LGBT loon striking back at a religious school....
34
posted on
02/16/2013 4:55:32 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: narses
Greatly appreciated, FRiend!
35
posted on
02/16/2013 4:56:42 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: M Kehoe
36
posted on
02/16/2013 4:59:11 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: GreyHoundSailor
>>They had both gone away on vacation and nobody ever heard from them again.<<
I really LOL at that!
I like your ending.
37
posted on
02/16/2013 4:59:43 PM PST
by
freedumb2003
(I learned everything I needed to know about racism from Colin Powell)
To: GeronL
You got that right! LOL!!
38
posted on
02/16/2013 5:01:00 PM PST
by
Absolutely Nobama
(The Doomsday Clock is at 11:59:00......tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.....)
To: Absolutely Nobama
I actually had the same thought as your better half re:movie script. So that is two votes.
It would be a labor of love to expand the story line..but I think it could sell.
Maybe not to Lifetime. Not enough emotional drama, i.e. wife poisons husband, husband has multiple wives, or pregnant teen etc.
39
posted on
02/16/2013 5:04:45 PM PST
by
berdie
To: Absolutely Nobama
I agree with you, they’d never make it “our” way
40
posted on
02/16/2013 5:06:10 PM PST
by
GeronL
(http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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