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Asking for advice about depression after losing my job
myself

Posted on 11/02/2012 11:44:36 PM PDT by proud American in Canada

Hi all,

I hesitated for a long time to post this--particularly because our keyboard is so sticky it is difficult to write and post. I was just hoping for some advice. If I posted in the wrong place, I hope the mods will move it.

Julie


TOPICS: Health/Medicine
KEYWORDS: aging; depression; jobloss; sexlife
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To: Smokin' Joe

Can you cook up some good beef stew and dumplings ?


81 posted on 11/03/2012 4:04:16 AM PDT by American Constitutionalist
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To: Smokin' Joe
That new oil boom has got me all getting me having these warm fuzzy feelings in how America can be or will be the world's greatest oil producer soon if only we are allowed to.
Yes Sir'reeeee ... I dream it... I imagine it ? all these nice new factories and businesses, popping up coast to coast.... white people and black people finding things in common and black people finally throwing off the shackles of the Democrat Party and Liberalism.
I see Americans coast to coast getting back to work and Americans doing what they do best.... Living, Dreaming, working, inventing, hoping ( not the fake kind ) prospering.
See Julie ? that there is something to write about.... people's dreams of America's future.
Yes Joe.... I feel it.. I sense it.. I hope it... I dream it.. I imagine it..
Oil Oil everywhere.. cheap gasoline... new stores... new homes popping up.

American Exceptionalism
82 posted on 11/03/2012 4:11:49 AM PDT by American Constitutionalist
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To: proud American in Canada

aerobics


83 posted on 11/03/2012 4:19:32 AM PDT by larryjohnson (USAF(Ret))
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To: proud American in Canada

I see you’ve already been given lots of helpful and practical suggestions, so I’ll just add that I also sympathize with your struggles and I’ll be praying for you today. Sometimes ... a lot of times ... life kicks us in the teeth, but if we keep fighting, we can prevail, even if we have a few less teeth. We liked ice cream, anyway, right?

Hang in there, FRiend!


84 posted on 11/03/2012 4:24:00 AM PDT by Tax-chick ("Decency requires that they be voted out of office as an act of urgent political hygiene." ~Steyn)
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To: proud American in Canada

For later reading.


85 posted on 11/03/2012 4:29:35 AM PDT by SeaHawkFan
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To: American Constitutionalist

Actually, I can. The dumplings are the hard part for me, but the stew is pretty easy.


86 posted on 11/03/2012 4:43:43 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: proud American in Canada

My heart breaks for you. But, you have a skill a lot of people do not have. You have the ability to write, and there are many things you could do with that. Exlore every avenue: books, brochures, publications, the list is really endless. What is your passion? What have you always wanted to do? It may not feel like the best thing that could happen to you, but you could turn this around to doing what you’ve always wanted to do. The money will come, God provides for all.
Good luck and God Bless.


87 posted on 11/03/2012 4:50:34 AM PDT by siamesecats (God closes one door, and opens another, to protect us.)
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To: American Constitutionalist
I have seen license plates from every state and Puerto Rico in Williston, North Dakota--people who came for work, and found it. While the oil boom may not be felt coast to coast, there are people in Pennsylvania ordering lumber to make modular housing to ship here, folks in Texas and Oklahoma machining oil tools, truckers from all over bringing materials in. The effects extend far beyond western North Dakota.

It is nice to live in an area that is a beacon of hope in a dreary world, and a real change from 1982 when half the population there packed up and left, when you couldn't buy a job, homes sat empty, and many lost all they had. I have seen both sides of an oil boom, and despite the growing pains, this is the good side.

There are other regions of the US with similar resources. The chief obstacle to the development of those resources is in Washington, D.C.

Hopefully, that will change, and we can start putting this country back together, without shipping more treasure elsewhere to power that recovery.

88 posted on 11/03/2012 4:55:06 AM PDT by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: proud American in Canada

I have been where you are, truly. Keep your spirits up and stop worrying about what might happen. Enjoy the moment and trust God in everything. I don’t mean a skeptical trust but an open and honest trust. Throw everything on Him and go do the things that make you feel good. Feed the ducks, listen to good music, watch the sunrise (my fav time) or the sunset.

There is more to life than most realize and when you have nothing to worry about (ie God) you can truly start enjoying it. Thing will beging to fall into place.

I hope and pray that you find the guidance you need.


89 posted on 11/03/2012 4:56:30 AM PDT by BornToBeAmerican (Things aren't as good as they should be and its Obama's fault, the resident said)
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To: proud American in Canada

I have been where you are, truly. Keep your spirits up and stop worrying about what might happen. Enjoy the moment and trust God in everything. I don’t mean a skeptical trust but an open and honest trust. Throw everything on Him and go do the things that make you feel good. Feed the ducks, listen to good music, watch the sunrise (my fav time) or the sunset.

There is more to life than most realize and when you have nothing to worry about (ie God) you can truly start enjoying it. Thing will begin to fall into place.

I hope and pray that you find the guidance you need.


90 posted on 11/03/2012 4:56:56 AM PDT by BornToBeAmerican (Things aren't as good as they should be and its Obama's fault, the resident said)
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To: proud American in Canada

My story: On Father’s Day 2008 we received the call that our son was in a pickle. Jeremy and friends had been to the beach that day. He wanted to show a couple of them where he wanted to propose the 2 boys against the wishes of his girlfriend went to climb on the rocks by the ocean and while doing so a freak wave washed both boys into the ocean. Our son was never found. Jeremy was serving the Lord in Australia since graduation. Fortunately, we had just spoken to him that morning. It was my husbands only child and my 2nd. An amazing young man. All I could do was turn around in my house and say this stuff means nothing. We have continue to pick ourselves up and have seen how Jeremy’s life has touched others through his testimony to nations around the world. His motto which he had tatooed on his chest was Philippians 1.21 for me to live is Christ, and if I die it is gain. The youth he encouraged in Australia came to the memorial and wore lime green armbands with 1.21 on it...short for that scripture you can see a video at onetwentyone.com.

I had just retired 2 weeks before the accident, we have since relocated and have started over...we realized we needed sun.

A few years before all this my husband came home from work one day and I casually asked him how was your day. He said you won’t believe it but I was laid off...he had transferred into another shop and the longevity did not go with the job. I became pro-active like one of the other people posted. I did my reasearch online, contacted unemployment, sold our big gas guzzler, got rid of stuff online, and survived. I encourage you to be pro-active also....get up off the couch, exercise, get sunshine, do you hair, put on your makeup, all that helps you feel better. YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THIS if we can make it through out difficulties you can!

Encourage your nephew in the Lord. We do not grieve like those who have no hope.

Anyway, I will help however I can! God bless....


91 posted on 11/03/2012 5:09:45 AM PDT by LADYAK
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To: proud American in Canada; Ron C.
ps re Ron's cleaning suggestions : use a digital camera or phone camera & take a pic of your keyboard before removing keys .. much easier than writing lotsa little squares, etc     :^)

I've been there too.
If it's of the situational variety, it'll pass on its own, eventually.
If clinical, it'll always be lurking in the background, with some days better than others.
But you probably knew that.

Churchill was afflicted with it .. called it his 'black dog'.
But also proved that it doesn't have to be debilitating.

You're not hiding it, and that's a good thing.
Tell hubby that tomkat says 'grrrrrrr' .. that he should look up 'empathy' AND remember what those vows said.
They're easy to apply when things are hunky-dory, unlike now .. now's when he finds out if he meant them.

((you))

btw, I spent some time at both CU and NU .. small world

92 posted on 11/03/2012 5:13:06 AM PDT by tomkat
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Comment #93 Removed by Moderator

To: proud American in Canada

Hi PAiC,

Your depression is situation-based rather than biological so avoid the temptation to have a doctor prescribe meds. It’s not what makes sense.

I’ve always been taught that the best remedy for cognitive depression is busyness. There are other things, of course, positive self-talk, physical activity, light, avoidance of those things that foster negativity, etc.

But, busyness is therapeutic for a number of reasons. First, it puts your mind at work in another area. Next, it often involves relationships an others, and as the bible says, “friend sharpens the countenance of a friend as iron sharpens iron.”

And sometimes...just sometimes...busyness becomes ‘business’, or contacts, or new opportunities.

Finally, don’t ignore God and prayer. The Bible clearly says that “it is God who gives the ability to create wealth.”


94 posted on 11/03/2012 5:24:22 AM PDT by xzins (Retired Army Chaplain and Proud of It! True supporters of our troops pray for their victory!)
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To: proud American in Canada
I hesitated for a long time to post this--particularly because our keyboard is so sticky it is difficult to write and post.

Filter out every problem you can't solve today, down to only one problem you can solve today, and solve it. You're a writer, and a sticky keyboard is on the top of your mind, do something about it. Now.

(1) You can get another used non-sticky one for about $3 Canadian or USD at a second-hand store. (There are millions of them whose useful life has outlived the computer box it was sold with, and people toss them when they get a new computer.)
(2) Find one that looks clean and whose keys and spacebar is not shiny from long use.
(3) Make sure the connector is the same as the sticky-key one you are replacing.
(4) Try the keyboard at the store to make sure it feels comfortable and non-sticky.
(5) Stop using this as an excuse for not doing something to help yourself.
(6) Now that you can congratulate yourself for accomplishing one thing; then get a good rest or at least a nap.
(7) Then go back, filter the list for another problem you can practically solve tomorrow.
(8) Figure out what strategy you are going to use, and go to bed with the tactic to apply anticipated in your mind.
(9) Get up when you wake up, recall what you are going to do, dress, eat something, then start fixing this one problem.
(10) When it is fixed, congratulate and reward yourself a little.
(11) Repeat this cycle.

This is the only way I could stop moaning and get out of the overwhelming everyday-sinking-spiral pattern, one thing at a time.

Do it, and start right now. By all means, first get your "new" keyboard. This a clear, preemptive, solvable issue. (If you don't have the $3 right now, beg the loan of the keyboard -- or the $3 Cdn -- from a friend or acquaintance who has an extra one.)

If you mouse is jerky, and they sometimes get that way, let me know and I'll tell you what to do.

Cheers!

(BTW, quit being "proud" in Canada until you demonstrate initiative, eh?)

95 posted on 11/03/2012 5:24:39 AM PDT by imardmd1 (God helps those that help themselves (and heaven help the hindmost))
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To: proud American in Canada
Julie - I find your post very interesting...I bet you don't realize how many people are in the same situation you are in and that is your advantage. Write about how you feel, what you are going through and there you have the basis for a fantastic blog or article for most any paper, not just a local one. Shop your story as a "I am going through the same thing you are". Take advantage of what you are going through and use it, not wallow in it. Use it to help yourself and others! Look on this as the great opportunity it is!
As a side note, but even more important, I will pray for you and your family....
96 posted on 11/03/2012 5:25:16 AM PDT by 4everontheRight (And the story began with..."Once there was a great nation......")
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To: proud American in Canada

Ideas......

Contact consulting companies and go see them about opportunities.

Go see a Superintendent or Principal about work in the upcoming year.

Advertise/put out flyers to mentor schoolchildren/college folks with writing/study/legal writing. There are places to work that do this, too.

Maybe take up a court reporting course? With a pell grant or something?

See about getting a job in a copy store like Kinko’s for awhile. Maybe a store owner or other businessperson will come in and need someone to do work.

Contact recruiters.

Develop a writing project you’d like to do and keep notes. Put it together and submit a plan for, say, a screenplay or something.

Get involved with a local theater company. Maybe they could use a communications person.

Rethink you. Maybe you can be Walter Mitty now and do various things to keep money coming in. Not just writing, but other things that might, in time, help you in your writing for other purposes.

Go see about a job at a retirement center. I’ll be there are lots of people with contacts there....former business owners, their families. If you work there and bide your time, you never know what might turn up.

Oh. Have a cup of tea. In a nice cup.

There are many FReepers in the same situation, you know. You are not alone.


97 posted on 11/03/2012 5:26:44 AM PDT by combat_boots (The Lion of Judah cometh. Hallelujah. Gloria Patri, Filio et Spiritui Sancto.)
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To: proud American in Canada

Do.

Something. Anything. Just DO.

Write.
Create.
Fix.
Build.
Serve.

Do something.
Create wealth.

And sell it.


98 posted on 11/03/2012 5:35:33 AM PDT by ctdonath2 ($1 meals: http://abuckaplate.blogspot.com)
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To: proud American in Canada

Take a walk everyday and start exercising. This will cheer you up. It works for me.


99 posted on 11/03/2012 5:36:41 AM PDT by FreeManWhoCan ( (o) (o))
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To: proud American in Canada

Play to your strength. You can write and the students today needs lots of help learning that craft. In my area there are lots of tutoring services that hire people to provide the services in areas such as math and English. A colleague of mine lost his faculty job at the college and then supplemented his income by tutoring reading. I imagine it could also be done freelance, but without having to build a following the established places are the quick fix. Get a resume together with lots of writing samples from your previous journalism work. Lift a prayer and give it a shot. With God AND the Freepers on your side whom could be against you?


100 posted on 11/03/2012 5:46:30 AM PDT by Bull Man
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