(With a hat-tip to tricky_k_1972, who was looking for a parody to a song I had never heard before.)
JOEY, SMIRKY
Tune: "Joey"
Joey, Smirky,
Don't be so jerky;
Eye-rolls, faces,
You are abrasive.
I know you think you can debate,
And though you think you're really great,
I just sit by and let you
Search for nerves to grate.
And though I used to wonder why--
I thought that maybe you were high--
Now sometimes I think it's
That your brain is fried.
Oh, Joey, if you're smirkin', that is why.
Joey, dummy,
What is so funny?
Does unemployment
Give you enjoyment?
And if you mean to be so rude--
I guess you think you're being shrewd--
But if you think of who viewed,
Well, I guess you may be screwed.
Because it really doesn't work,
The folks are turned off by your smirk;
The people out there don't care
For a stupid jerk.
Oh, Joey, please be smirky all the more!
(Shiny dental break)
And if you mean to be so rude--
I guess you think you're being shrewd--
But if you think of who viewed,
Well, I guess you may be screwed.
Because the people that you irk,
Well, those are votes you shouldn't shirk;
The people out there don't care
For a stupid jerk.
Oh, Joey, please be smirky all the more!
Smirky all the more . . .
Smirky all the more . . .