“marrying later seems to work better”
It certainly does if you’re in the military. Almost without exception, military service members who get hitched before or during their first enlistment and are under 24 WILL get divorced. Even for those couples who “stick together” their youth causes innumerable problems. Soldiers are stationed thousands of miles from home and are on deployment. Thus the spouse, oftentimes a naive 18 year old woman, find themselves all alone without any support system. Recipe for trouble right there. When these young couples fight, which they WILL do, the soldier’s ability to function in the unit is severely tarnished. And then there is the sensitive but tragic statistic of child neglect from overwhelmed under the age of 24 spouses.
Bottom line - the military should go back to the policy of outlawing marriages for the troops till their second enlistment. Once the solider has put some time in the service and has a better understanding of how a family will be affected (along with the maturity that comes from serving your country for four years) will such issues be reduced.
Bottom line - the military should go back to the policy of outlawing marriages for the troops till their second enlistment. Once the solider has put some time in the service and has a better understanding of how a family will be affected (along with the maturity that comes from serving your country for four years) will such issues be reduced.
We've been married for 30 years. Husband was 24 and on his second enlistment. I was 20 and on my first (and only) enlistment. Due to his deployments, we spent 5 of the first 10 years together. Later, due to employment issues, we lived apart for a couple of years. But here we are now, heading for year 31.
The main thing in making a marriage work, is that both spouses have to work at it. Without that, it doesn't matter at what age someone gets married--it will not work.
I agree with your basic thesis (people in the military for their first hitch should think long and hard about marriage because many don’t last due to hardships), but one size does not fit all.
I married my high school sweet heart when I was 21 and she was 19 and I was half way through my first (and only) six year enlistment. Was it difficult for both of us? Yes, no doubt. But enduring through those struggles made us stronger. We both decided against having children while I remained in the Navy because of deployment issues.
I am happy to say that I am still married to my sweet heart. We are rapidly approaching our 25th anniversery next month.
As a side note, we had our first child when I was 25 and our last child when I was 30. I am glad to have gone through those younger years while my body could take more punishment and do more things with them. I can’t imagine how much I would miss trying to have young kids now at my current age (46).
Sergeants may marry.
Captains must marry.
Old rule of thumb