Posted on 06/20/2011 1:47:15 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
More evidence that nice guys finish last.
I am a nice guy, usually, and I have never been able to fake that cocky assertiveness some guys have...so I suppose I’ll never be as rich as Donald Trump...
watch Bully beat down and decide for yourself...
sounds like their research was based on the plot of every teen movie made in the last 30 years.
Play by the rules, pay your taxes, keep your nose clean - no one cares.
Make a circus of yourself, caught in scandals, lie, cheat, steal - they’ll make you a millionaire star.
Some people define "bullying" as somebody getting an "A" when they get a "C."
I think this article is spot-on. I’ve never bought the bullies-are-hurting-inside psychobabble. Kids can be cruel because they can’t empathize until they themselves suffer. Thus, kids at the top of the social heap are more likely to be mean, whereas kids who are picked-on are usually kind to other kids. Growing up, the smarter (in a non-nerdy way), more athletic, better looking kids were the bullies and the ugly, uncoordinated kids in the “dumb group†were the ones they picked on. It has been ever thus.
My purely casual longitudinal study says bullying is a short-term tactic that rarely pays off in the long-term. I can’t think of a single person that could have worn the title of bully at any level of the schools I attended that now could be considered a long-term success across more than 4 decades, post-K12 school.
I was talking jobwise, but of course my wife...I guess it works both ways.
My husband and I just had a long conversation about one of our daughters (8 years old). She can be very sweet and kind, yet we know that if she were in public school she would most likely be one of the “mean girls”.
She is very confident and is always surrounded by friends. She also has the ability to make others feel very left out. She thrives on being accepted and liked and will do what it takes for that to happen. We saw this when she was 4 years old and in preschool. It strongly influenced our decision to homeschool.
So all of those school self esteem programs are essentially teaching children to become tyrants? Nice!
It’s better to teach your child how to deal with these school yard tyrants with quick witted communication for verbal take downs and then make sure they are educated in a several forms of the most vicious martial arts you can find for them to learn so their words are backed up by action.
Instead of them having superficial self esteem they’ll have a deeper confidence to handle those difficult situations.
I can definitely say that when it comes to pre-teen and teen girls, the ones who are the “mean” girls are the more popular ones. They may not fight each other physically but will humiliate other “less popular” girls on appearance, size, academics etc... Just an observation.
I’ve never bought that nonsense about bullies having low self-esteem either. In my experience, they are usually people who were never trained at home to respect others, or (in some cases) they actually had bullying modeled for them by a parent who was a bully. Incidentally, I know someone who says all the guys in his school who were bullies became cops. Intimidating other people gives a thrill to people with a certain personality type.
They talk about “aggressive behavior” like its a bad thing.
I guess they don’t want any kids getting out of school with any courage and self-assertion left in them.
“Researchers believe administrators, teachers and parents need to work collaboratively to change the peer culture that encourages bullying.”
Not going to work. This is basic human nature. The whole “bullies are hurting inside” garbage was soft-brained psycobabble, but so is this.
Bullies bully because they can and it boosts their social status (except with some of the more mature females). This type of “understanding” and zero tolerance rules actually help THEM. The proper way to control bullies is to punish them for being bullies. It’s called “imposing consequences,” and it works.
PS When I was a kid, I was bullied. Until I kicked the snot out of one of the bullies. Then I became more popular...
What movie is that from?
What they mean by aggression is physical and verbal abuse of others. I knew people in school who were courageous and competitive in sports, and larger and stronger than average, who never picked on or abused anyone.
Some of my best friends were bullies. We had a kid that was 14 in the sixth grade. The beatings he would administer to kids during lunch hour got us all hard enough to look upon blood and gore without flinching. I can still hear the cheers and roars of approval. Bullies have a necessary function
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