DUmmie FUnnies 01-25-11 (Keef Grief: DUmmies KO'd by Olbermann firing!)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 25, 2011 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

[Charles Henrickson]

It's . . . TEOTWAWKI !!!!!! OMG OMG OMG !!! Keef has been FIRED!!!!! OH NOES!!

The canning of Keith Olbermann Friday night came like a swift punch to the solar plexus. The DUmmies were KO'd! They were devastated! Overwhelming Keef Grief! Elisabeth Kübler-Ross would have a field day with these folks. (BTW, why can they never get to "acceptance"?)

Their initial denial quickly turned to anger, of course--these are the DUmmies we're talking about. They're AS MAD AS HELL AND NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! It's a KOmkast KOnspiracy! Bush's fault! Rove! Palin! Fox! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! The fact that Keefie happens to be the Worst A$$hole on Television--well, tied for worst, with Bill Maher--that doesn't enter in.

The KO shocker instantly took over ALL of DUmmieland. DOZENS AND DOZENS of threads--almost as many as Keef's viewers! We'll start with this THREAD, "Keith Olbermann: 'This IS the Last Edition of Countdown.'"

So let us now go to the Special KOmments of the grieving DUmmies, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]:

Breaking: Keith Olbermann Out at MSNBC

[. . . {stuned silence} . . . ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!]

Stunning his Countdown audience, Keith Olbermann announced at the very end of his show tonight that this would be the last edition of Countdown.

[NO! . . . {hyperventilating} . . . NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!]

OLBERMANN: "I think the same fantasy has popped into the head of everybody in my business who has ever been told what I've been told: that this is going to be the last edition of your show. You go directly to the scene from the movie 'Network,' complete with the pajamas and the raincoat. And you go off on an existential other-worldy verbal journey of unutterable profundity and vision. You damn the impediments, and you insist upon the insurrections, and then you emit Peter Finch's gutteral resonant ... 'So...' And you implore, you WILL the viewer to go to the window, open it, stick out his head and yell...

[WE'RE AS MAD AS HELL AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!]

"Good night. And good luck."

[No no noooooo . . . {uncontrollable sobbing} . . .]

The first action of a Dictatorship is shut down the Free Press. It wouldn't be long before the O'Reillies, Hannities and Lushballs will be calling for the violent reaction against anyone who opposes their Right Wing Fanaticism.

[D*MN them! FACISTS! They shot Gabby Giffords, now they've killed Keef! VIOLENT facist b*st*rds!! ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!!!!]

I will donate my television to a nursing home with specific instructions to give it to an alzheimer patient so that he/she can forget the crap as soon as they see it.

[NOTHING will be worth watching without Keef!]

Comcast merged with NBC then fired Keith

[It's a KOmkast KOnspiracy! And Fox probably owns KOmkast! D*MN them!

Wonder when Rachel will get booted?

[I think she wears the boots only on certain nights.]

WTF? Does anyone know why this happened?

[Gaia hates you.]

We still have BBC

[Think about that for a minute, folks. "We still have BBC."]

Europe or Canada is looking better and better to me

[Can we help you pack?]

The real question is whether Keith has a gag clause

[I had a gag clause whenever I tried to watch Keith.]

He will have a fabulous internet career.

[We here at DUmmie FUnnies could use an intern, I suppose. Someone to keep Li'l Beaver in cigars, coupon clipper for PJ. . . .]

We can also draft KO to run for office -- how about president?

[KO to primary BO? YESSS!!!]

Maybe he can work w/ Dan Rather?

[What's the frequency, Keith?]

The freeperoids will be celebrating.

[On the contrary. Keef has always been GREAT for the DUmmie FUnnies!]

Anyone want to start a rumor that Keith Olbermann left MSNBC to become White House Press Secretary. . . ?

[It's down to Keef and William Rivers Pitt.]

Wow who will speak for the little guy now?

[Robert B. Reichhhhhhhhhhhh-uh!]

Ummmm WTF just happened? was Olbermann taken off the air or what?

[Just waking up. The drugs are wearing off.]

I'm finished w/ this whorporate bullsh*t. . . . The whorporate right has pulled the chair away just as we thought we had a spot to sit and rest.

[C'mon, you'll kick the football this time, Charlie Brown!]

comf***ingcastic

[New all-purpose curseword, "comf***ingcastic."]

I could just cry.

[You know what makes me cry? YOU DO! You jackwagon. . . .]

I'm so stunned.

[My beeber is stuck on "stune."]

This is so heartbreaking for me, but I guess I'll learn to love my comcastic overloards. . . .

[Man overloard!]

NOOooooooooo!

[YESssssssss!]

Well, That's It For Me...I no longer understand the world around me. I'm not even sure that it is even important anymore.

[It's TEOTWAWKI !!!]

I. Am. Stunned.

[You. Are. Stupid.]

Countdown was the top rated program on MSNBC

[Sometimes the jokes just write themselves.]

OMG. I'm gonna miss KO SO MUCH!!! He's a voice of reason in the insanity. Comcast SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS and SUCKS SOME MORE!!!!!!

[Yes, the voice of reason.]

Keith is an all-round swell egg.

[Keith is an all-round swelled ego.]

[Well, I can see this KO thing will require a Part Too. Miles to go before we freep. . . .]

[snuffy smiff]

It’s all time highest rated episode brought in 17 viewers...

he’ll be soooo missed!