Its too long.
It will never happen.
Condense it into two sentences.
People are stupid and lazy.
It can’t be condensed into 2 sentences. If we’re too lazy to do what has to be done then we deserve the results we get for being lazy.
The only way I could see it being condensed is if it said that the SOS was required to follow Rules X and Y, and then X and Y of the rules include all these specifics. No matter how you slice it, if we’re going to have a system that closes the loopholes we have to have the words that specifically close those loopholes.
That’s the way I see it, but if somebody can give me an example that would work using only 2 sentences, I would gladly scrap this whole thing and use something else. So if somebody can think of something, let me know.
I should say also that this actually covers a lot more of the troubles we have with lawlessness right now than just the loopholes in the eligibility verification. There’s a lot in this, that the words don’t necessarily say.