I am thoroughly convinced (personally) that being born with dual citizenship rules out NBC status.
But most people are not convinced, and there is no statute or case law to resolve the issue. Therefore, your statute can be construed (rightly) as an attack on BHO's individual circumstances, rather than a tool of general application.
I think the solution is either to define NBC in the U.S. Code by statute, or remove the parental clause from your proposed statute.
One of the reasons to leave the 2-citizen part in there is because that interpretation of NBC would then be subject to court review. The court would have to decide the issue, which is what Donofrio’s and Wrotnowski’s lawsuits were intended to address. This law would just create a situation where there is standing for the issue to be addressed on its merits.
Either side of the 2-citizen argument could be afraid of what the outcome might be, or argue about what it should be. But ultimately the country needs a decision on it. If the decision is not what a particular person wanted then that person can try to amend the Constitution to correct the definition. But we have to have a functional definition before the SOS’s can realistically enforce the requirement. That is the first step to resolving this issue for now or in future elections.
And the issue is all the more relevant because we have a spate of potential Presidential candidates who will bring up these questions. We should have that resolved when it is a hypothetical question rather than when it is a ruling on a particular individual.