Hey, bunch!! Welcome back!
Wow, sitting here with 18 degrees outside, Florida sounds like it would have been wonderful! : ) Heck, anywhere above freezing would be nice!!
LOL about the stupid rude folks and family members! I so hear that. Man, you just don’t realize how full the world is of STUPID until something like this happens! I’ve come >thisclose< to just completely going off on some of these jackwagons and the jawdroppingly awesome stupendously i’gnert things they say to me.
Wow, reconstruction sounds pretty intense. I can understand why you want to do it. I’m torn, in my case. My relatives are urging me to...but why? Just so’s they won’t be uncomfortable if I show up without my fake boobie in place?
I have no husband any more, and certainly no prospects (or desire) for another, so why bother? I’m totally ok so far losing the thing and doing without. But if the ol’ man was still around, I most certainly would have it done.
Oh, hey, another thing, bunches...were your emotions all over the place on chemo? Maybe it’s the “instant menopause” thing they warned me about, but I cry at the drop of a hat now!
Jilly:
Thanks for your response about the “jackwagons” being everywhere. It’s hard to believe how people act sometimes. We cancer patients, however, do have compassion for other cancer patients. I find there is an abundance of it in myself. You know how the “newbies” feel when they first hear they have cancer, you sympathize with those just starting chemo and radiation and you admire the “long-timers” who are near to reaching their five year mark of no cancer.
I’ll tell you the truth, with my basic rebellious nature, I was at first really angry about having cancer. When I first heard the diagnosis, I was alone, I basically said to the doctor “Oh Sh....t”, but I didn’t cry. When my husband came home from his business trip the next day I allowed myself to finally cry. I was not scared I figured if it is my time so be it. I WAS surprised, however, by the outpouring of support from people I hardly knew.
My real anger, which I am still processing, is with the jackwagons. I told hubby when I was in the middle of chemo, etc. that I am going to say whatever I want now to those people. I am still working on that because it is my nature to be a people-pleaser, a go-along-to-get-along type and an appeaser. Fighting cancer is not the time to be that way. You have to concentrate on yourself, for a change!
Crying at the drop of hat, whether it’s because of the chemicals injected into you, the situation you are in, whatever, releases pent up fear, anger, resentment and all the other emotions that should not be stored up during your battle with cancer. Let ‘er rip, because storing up those emotions is bad for you. If you cry, for instance, in the middle of a restaurant, just tell the waitress the food is so AWFUL it makes you cry! Just kiddin.
I called my hated cancer tumor “Black Bart” because I saw the darn thing on the ultrasound and it was kinda ominous and scary looking. I was determined to kill the darn thing and I think I did.
This thread is ideal for all of us. What a wonderful idea to have it for all of us to vent, ask questions, compare notes since we all have an understanding of what it is like to fight cancer.
The jackwagons and insensitive “stupid-ohs” we are encountering, whether a relative or not, are to me excess baggage which I don’t need. There are so many other kind people you will meet during your fight with cancer-it is amazing!
If my hemocrit reading, or hemoglubin reading, which is the red blood cell count, remains low then I’ll tackle the reconstruction stuff next year. For now I’ll just walk lopsided with the right side of my chest much larger than the left! Leaning right is better than leaning left!
Tip for all: Don’t wear a white bra with a sorta filmy blouse. I forgot about that on vacation and the picture taken of me in that outfit is hilarious. Talk about being “unbalanced”.
Gotta laugh at this stuff-there is humor possible in our situation, just kind of a dark humor.
Take care.
“Lopsided Bunches”