My mother had surgery when she was 84. During surgery, she had a major stroke and could no longer get around on her own. We put her in a nursing home for recovery. The nursing home, eventually, suggested that we move her into the regular nursing part of the home where they wanted her to stay. My mother couldn’t get around on her own but was mentally sharp. She wouldn’t say anything but I could tell that she hated the idea. We eventually moved her into a families home where she could be with her grand daughter, greatgrand son and great, greatgrand son.
The nursing home didn’t like this idea and the nursing home doctor said that she couldn’t be moved. I told them I wanted a second opinion and they changed their minds. My mother lasted another two years before she passed on, but was totally happy. In the nursing home, my mother knew that she would be lonely and alone. We didn’t want that.
It’s not easy taking care of someone like this but we figured that it wasn’t easy for her to raise us either. Now it was our turn to take care of her. Having her in our homes again was amazing. You wouldn’t believe the love that will over ride the job. Think twice, three times, before placing anyone in a nursing home.
Good for you.
***Now it was our turn to take care of her.***
Which is why you are not shouting and pointing fingers of blame.
There is so much guilt, inadequacy and sometimes greed about end of life arrangements for elderly family members. Physicians, not caregivers are authorized to administer treatment; which should be discussed and questioned in detail by the family member responsible for making decisions.
With so many advances in medicine to prolong/extend life - we must become informed and prepared to handle drug reactions and complications. Many elderly people are having surgical procedures well past prior life-expectancy. It’s expensive and not without risk of complications or death. Be thankful for the extra days of life, that they are pain-free and peaceful.