***Now it was our turn to take care of her.***
Which is why you are not shouting and pointing fingers of blame.
There is so much guilt, inadequacy and sometimes greed about end of life arrangements for elderly family members. Physicians, not caregivers are authorized to administer treatment; which should be discussed and questioned in detail by the family member responsible for making decisions.
With so many advances in medicine to prolong/extend life - we must become informed and prepared to handle drug reactions and complications. Many elderly people are having surgical procedures well past prior life-expectancy. It’s expensive and not without risk of complications or death. Be thankful for the extra days of life, that they are pain-free and peaceful.
Bingo. Someone needs to have Power of Attorney, to make the medication decisions. LEARN about the medications; get second opinions. Quality of life is huge. This story makes it sound like Mama was in great spirits and alert, but was drugged into a coma. That is inexcusable.
There should be a competent, loving, logical person weighing the decision of dosing enough to cover pain and low enough to allow quality function if it’s in reach for the patient.