Posted on 09/13/2010 1:27:22 PM PDT by big black dog
Pronto Pizza – La Serena, Chile
This creator of this restaurant should be thrown in jail. You’re looking at a picture of what should be called The Hawaiian Bastard.
It arrived half-cooked. I had to dig through a thicket of shredded ham, pineapple and –yes – cherries before finding a bite that seemed reasonable.
Imagine if candy was made out of ham. No, don’t imagine it as delicious. Imagine it as foul! That’s what this pizza tasted like. With additional pieces of uncooked, shredded, part-skim mozzarella.
Oh, and let’s discuss the concept of cherries on pizza: No. End of discussion.
Buenos Aires, Argentina
For the most part, don’t even bother with pizza in Buenos Aires. It’s about the most disgusting thing ever cooked in a country full of things that are perfectly cooked. Get thee to a meatery and skip this nonsense.
Don’t believe me? Witness big goops of cheese that taste like year-old butter. Add Oregano to cover the sweating fromage, which overpowers any hope for a cohesive taste. Toss on green olives the size of human testicles, just to make the whole thing seem even less palatable than…testicles.
The cheese is the problem here – somehow the Argentines know what to do with the meaty part of the cow but they have no idea what to do with the milky part. It sweats as if masturbating, defending a pie of oozy things that can’t be wiped up with a paper towel (it adheres to the slop and only makes it worse).
If you must eat a pizza in Buenos Aires, I highly recommend that you eat out. Anything delivered will arrive on one side of the box, looking more like a swollen eye than a pizza pie.
San Marco S.R.L., Piazza San Marco, Florence, Italy
It’s one of those In Theory pizzas, kind of like the crazy-combo pies that chains launch and pull before the coupon hits your mailbox. Yes, this is a French Fry Pizza.
What it amounts to is a pile of potatoes cooked in greasy cheese and pizza dough. It doesn’t work – not in the least. I watched another tourist give it a go and she couldn’t figure it out either. She squiggled a little ketcup onto her piece, took a bite, then threw it in the garbage. I assume that she pointed her hunger towards McDonalds shortly thereafter.
Please, put this miserable, suffering beast of a pizza down.
Suba Galaxy Hotel, Mumbai, India
A foul, atrocious pizza awaits anyone staying at The Suba Galaxy.
I broke budget in order to stay in a soundproofed room that blocked out Mumbai’s consistent howl. My stomach growled for something familiar and eventually I gave into the most primal of urges: Room Servive. The tray arrived, the lid came off and I could have cried. This was not my beautiful house. This was not my beautiful wife.
I implore you. DO NOT EVER put onions inside of a pizza, especially ripe and uncooked offenders. I’d also like to suggest that feta doesn’t work in this context and that mystery greens are not generally acceptable in any form.
This pizza was devious, deceptive and evil.
Italian Pizza, Lonely Beach, Koh Chang, Thailand
You’re thinking that it doesn’t look too bad, this one. This is only because you’ve seen the above pizza pictures. It’s relative, sir/mam. Look at it again. It’s awful!
The first thing that most Thai pizza-makers do is start with a pre-made base, kind of like you’d find in aisle six of Stop & Shop. Many times, they’ll take just about any kind of jarred tomato sauce (I’ve seen Ragu) and add it to cheese that tastes a bit of dirty socks and coriander. The pizza pictured is a fine example.
Yes – It serves us Falang tourists right for ordering pizza in Thailand. Yes – we should know better and just order the Pad Thai like every other backpacker. But no, we can’t resist the promise of a real pizza.
It’s the ladyboy of the food world – we know it’s not real but by-gosh, we’re going in anyway.
So...this didn't seem to be a bad decision before you took a bite?
they did skip the red sauce!
Just crust smeared with olive oil and a fried egg on it.
Knowing you it was eaten.
LOL!
> “One of the best pizzas I’ve had was in Athens.” <
I’ve had pizza all over the world. There’s only one truly good pizza and that is from “The Pizzeria Regina” in Boston’s North End.
Simply the best!
Yup!
You cant find a bad pizza in youngstown ohio.
Sadly you cant find work either.
Ever had a potato pizza?
Its scalloped potatoes, with italian greens, fried in olive oil,garlic and red pepper flakes, layered in a white sauce and its all topped with romano cheese.
OMG! it’s good! You cant find it in the pizzarias, but the old timers still make it at home.
In a small town in the south of France in 1982, my sister and I had pizza cooked in a van (I seem to recall it being a VW Camper-van, but that may be my memory playing tricks on me)...but it was delicious!
Hubby looooooves pizza. I’m Italian. Of course I can make pizza, silly rabbit :-) And a bunch of pasta dishes too.
Well, do you deliver?
I’ll take seven.
One with peperoni, mushrooms and black olive and six with kibble.
Well ... no one goes to Chuck E Cheez’s for the pizza.
They go for the noise of dozens of screaming toddlers ramped up on Mountain Dew.
That said, DH described pizza from the Dominican Republic, where he went on a church work trip — building a church and schoolhouse for a sister congregation.
The pizza included lima beans, cheese and corn.
All I have is cat kibble; is that okay?
It's always good to be from Chicago.
Sure!
The pups love kat kibble!
Yes! I had it. The gooey thin crust you could inhale. The original Town Spa Bar pizza in Stoughton was also outstanding.
I’ll be there in no time. Right after I have a good night’s sleep. And I may need a small reminder in the morning, but don’t talk to me until I’ve had my second cup of espresso. K?
Years ago I had some pizza at a Greek joint in Minneapolis - nastiest I’ve ever had. I burped feta cheese for 3 days.
How I make pizza. These are photos from my cell phone. “Damn it Jim, I’m a chef not a photographer.”
Start with a good peal (Mine and I wish) 
Blind bake the crust for 90 seconds per side at 450 degrees (dock with a fork to prevent bubbles). Spray with olive oil and smear on some roasted garlic. Add slices of mozzarella or grated mozzarella. 
Oven dried balsamic tomatoes and basil fresh from the herb garden. Add hot Italian sausage and Andouille sausage. 
Finish off with mushrooms and red onion. Bake for about 14 minutes more. Enjoy 
Blind baking the crust lets you make thin crust pizza and never have an ingredient slide. I also like to put parchment paper under the pizza just in case there is a tear.
'La bonne cuisine est la base du véritable bonheur.' - Auguste Escoffier
(Good food is the foundation of genuine happiness.)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Showoff! You owe me a new keyboard. Mine’s drool damaged, and not because of Mrs. Peel.
***** “ they did skip the red sauce!
Just crust smeared with olive oil and a fried egg on it.” *****
Sounds like something that I would order at Denny’s (and Enjoy) but it still ain’t Pizza!
TT
(I’m pretty sure that if you don’t wake up 3:00 am with heartburn it ain’t Pizza, unless your passed out)
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