Posted on 12/02/2009 10:59:32 AM PST by CarmichaelPatriot
“My work ethic is exceeded only by my passion for quality.”
Well you know that my favorite is when we take our ethics quiz. It is a 20 question test that had one question that says...
True or False: It is OK to grab a female employees breasts if they are particularly bodacious.
Then the remaining 19 questions are on being accurate on your time charging.
Then they ask you to turn in your time card on Thursday which has you guessing how many hours you will work that day and Friday which clearly violates the ethics training you have just took.
Given our building, that is a purely hypothetical question.
Purely. There's a reason we don't have a "Girls of Our Company" calender.
Strangely enough though I always get that question wrong.
Once upon a time (10 years ago) the Dilbert site had a
program that would generate a performance review for you.
It was pretty good too. Looked like any other if you
put in some key words.
They also had a “Mission Statement” generator.
I think both are long gone.
Unfortunately we have a third party company that does the software for our performance goals and talent management. Its pretty stupid - the only thing is that it levels the playing field. Those who are underachievers have nothing to put in the blocks and those of us who can read and write make up inane goals, measurements, and objectives. We then can make all those things look great because we just go blah, blah, blah. I always make wordy paragraphs using words I know my management doesn’t know (I even spell using the UK English dictionary just to hassle them). The actual performance rating part of it has canned answers for below, met, and above - you just pick a level and it fills in the performance rating and justification.
Its not much and while I hope the company did not spend to much on it - I suspect they did. At least it keeps someone employed.
As a very seasoned, partly-retired, former executive, I find this current trend absurd in all regards.
A manager of staff, at any level, should be giving constant feedback, instruction and guidance throughout the year, day in and day out. The only “annual” review for any employee should be able to be summed up in two words: Good Job!
If any employee doesn’t qualify for “good job” at any time during the year they need: More training, more supervision, or to be let go.
The rest is all nonsense IMHO
Dang.. You guys are no fun...
I guess I’ll take it (semi) seriously.
Thanks...
“Dang.. You guys are no fun...I guess I’ll take it (semi) seriously.”
that’s the spirit...
Dude, I sympathize, it is painful. But you’ve got to learn to play the game saying (writing) a lot by saying nothing. The idiots above will eat it up.
Done the same things in various combinations over the years in the military, corporate and academic arenas. It is indeed a game adhering to the flavor of the year. In terms of quality just remember “The race for Quality has no finish line so technically it’s more like a death march”.
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