White America only thinks Native America is worth 1 miserable penny

Collective Wishes ^ | 9/23/09 | Candle

[Verginius Rufus]

Has there ever been a cowboy coin made as currency?

Reverse of the Wyoming quarter.

[Stentor]

White America only thinks Native America is worth 1 miserable penny

I don't spend any time thinking anything about "Native America".

[Charles Martel]

I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say.

where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in Zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J.D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run of the house with a big washtub and... hey! Where are you going? Anyway, about my washtub. I’d just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as... ...a walking-bird. We’d always have walking-bird on Thanksgiving, with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we’d all watch football, which in those days was called baseball...Eh, why didn’t you get something useful, like storm windows, or a nice pipe organ? I’m thirsty! Ew, what smells like mustard? There sure are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Ooh, look at that one. Ow, my glaucoma just got worse. The president is a Democrat! Hello? I can’t unbuckle my seat belt. Hello? There are too many leaves in your walkway...

Wow! A new chapter added to the LOL (Literary Offenses of Lazamataz)*... and people wonder why absinthe was illegal for so long. ;-)

* Hat tip to Samuel "Bud" Clemens.

[celestron71]

I guess you never saw an Indian head nickel then? Just a youngster?

[celestron71]

The author of this horrible little piece should be placed on a cold slab, handcuffed and chained, and killer bees should be forced into his airways, and the killer bees should have little tiny chainsaws and salt packets and they should be covered with lye, and then the author should be bitten by dobermans with hot sauce of their teeth.

Wow, remind me to never get you mad at me!

[celestron71]

Look at that, kinda makes you want to just jump right into the middle of them doesn’t it?

[Buckeye McFrog]

we put them on the helmets of a football team that’s valued at $1.6 billion...

[Lazamataz]

Wow, remind me to never get you mad at me!

That made me mad.

[ErnBatavia]

I was born in 1947, and recall as a young kid actually finding an Indian Head penny still in circulation about once or twice a year.

[ErnBatavia]

Remember when that drunken slob Redskin running back - Riggins - tried to hit Sandra Day O’Connor?

[ArrogantBustard]

No.

Was that "hit" or "hit on"?

Either way, it's just sooooooooo not right.

[ErnBatavia]

Riggins' acting career began at Centralia High when a teacher cast him as the lead role in his junior play.[6] His career as a professional actor started in 1992 when he appeared in "Illegal Motion" in a Maryland (The Olney Theatre) theater.[6] He starred as the beleaguered head football coach accused of inappropriate recruiting practices. US Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor attended his opening night where she presented him with a dozen roses, and letting him know that she always admired his character notwithstanding the "loosen up Sandie, baby" comment he made to her years before at a formal Washington DC dinner party, where "Riggo" fell asleep (really, passed out after having too much to drink) under the table during a presidential speech.

(From Wikipedia)

[ArrogantBustard]

A match made in ... somewhere ...