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PONDERISMS
CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER?
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HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?
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WHY DO YOU HAVE TO “PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN”.. BUT IT’S ONLY A “PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS”? WHERE’S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO?
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ONCE YOU’RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY?
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WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX?
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WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE?
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HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE?
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WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY “SLEPT LIKE A BABY” WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS?
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IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING?
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WHY ARE YOU IN A MOVIE, BUT YOU’RE ON TV?
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WHY DO PEOPLE PAY TO GO UP TALL BUILDINGS AND THEN PUT MONEY IN BINOCULARS TO LOOK AT THINGS ON THE GROUND?
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WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? THEY’RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY.
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WHY IS “BRA” SINGULAR AND “PANTIES” PLURAL?
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WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT?
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IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM?
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CAN A HEARSE CARRYING A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE ?
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IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN’S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CAN’T HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT?
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WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? THEY’RE BOTH DOGS!
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IF WILEY E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN’T HE JUST BUY DINNER?
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IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM?
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IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS?
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DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE?
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WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE?
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WHY DO THEY CALL IT AN ASTEROID WHEN IT’S OUTSIDE THE HEMISPHERE, BUT CALL IT A HEMORRHOID WHEN IT’S IN YOUR BUTT?
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DID YOU EVER NOTICE THAT WHEN YOU BLOW IN A DOG’S FACE, HE GETS MAD AT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU TAKE HIM FOR A CAR RIDE, HE STICKS HIS HEAD OUT THE WINDOW?
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RE: “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO “PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN”.. BUT IT’S ONLY A “PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS”? WHERE’S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO?”
That was answered on Cheers a number of years ago:
Cliff (I think it was Cliff): Another day, another dollar
Norm: 50 cents after taxes.
So that’s where the extra penny goes.