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To: Erik the Dissident

As an actual scientist and therefore endowed by the media with infallibility (so long as I toe the party-line) I have seen the Troof and can explain it to you embittered, gun-totin’ racist hillbillies. So pay attention:

According to emiment reserchers such as Ted Turner, Robert Mugabe, and the UN Special Rapporteur for Global Warming and American War Crimes, warmer temperatures make the oceans sluggish, just like hillbillies in the summertime. Because of this heat-induced ennui, less water evaporates from them. Ice floes are not replenished and grow smaller. Polar bears fall in and drown. Without polar bears to hunt, the Oppressed Arctic peoples (”Eskimos” and “Inuit”) must then leave their ancestral hunting grounds, er, floes, and move south.

As all true followers of Gaia know, these native people have natural wisdom that is genetically denied to us industrialized artificial types (as well as to gun-totin’ hillbillies). In particular, they are psychically and cosimically connected to Mother Gaia in ways that we cannot comprehend. Because of these cosmo-spiritualistic affinities, their nature spirits follow them to our hellish climes. This naturally includes the spirit of snow, which is why Mother Gaia is allowing it in unexpected places.

May I have my grant now?


8 posted on 04/19/2008 2:48:52 PM PDT by atomic conspiracy (Victory in Iraq: Worst defeat for activist media since Goebbels shot himself.)
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To: atomic conspiracy
"May I have my grant now?"

No, but you can have an Honorary PhD for excellence in Bovine Excrement Extrusion, OK?

Your version did seem to be supported by more evidence than Ghore's though.

9 posted on 04/19/2008 4:26:51 PM PDT by editor-surveyor (Turning the general election into a second Democrat primary is not a winning strategy.)
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