Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[NicknamedBob]

At first glance, one might get the impression that the Undead Thread is unutterable rubbish.

But after a bit more intensive scrutiny, a different understanding results:

It is unspeakable insanity!

[callisto]

“It is unspeakable insanity!”

The best kind!!!

[abigailsmybaby]

Yes. Well there’s just such a bunch of slackers in this world today. I should know...er, um, I mean I know several myself. {|~P

BTW, love your tag line.

[NicknamedBob]

"BTW, love your tag line."

I'll be changing it soon, when I think of something clever.

[callisto]

How about...?
McCain for President and Vice-President, it takes 2 jobs to fill that ego

[NicknamedBob]

How about ...

[StarCMC]

LOL! Welcome, callisto — although, speaking for myself, I’m rarely here. Maybe the zombies are making me invisible...?

[rottndog]

8 seconds.....

};00Þ

[abigailsmybaby]

That’s pretty damned clever! And pretty damned correct.

[ThomasThomas]

Here is a eco friendly product I can enjoy.

http://www.greenwithenvygifts.com/mofish.html

[rottndog]

I could enjoy one of those...if someone else paid the $3,450 for it.

[Tax-chick]

Good morning, Undead in strange time zones that probably aren’t safe for nervous ladies and their catz!

Tom’s off on a ski trip with the Boy Scouts today. Anoreth’s taking the SAT again. Sally has a cookie sale. And I’m sure I’ve forgotten something important that will be a real problem.

[darkangel82]

I’ve never gone skiing, don’t want to break anything.

[Tax-chick]

I have no interest in skiing, myself. Tom is not very well coordinated - I think he’ll do mostly falling!

[NicknamedBob]

"I have no interest in skiing, myself. Tom is not very well coordinated - I think he’ll do mostly falling!"

Skiing is mostly falling, if you think about it.

I dropped out of skiing when my skiing coach said, "Remember, there is no 'i' in skiing."

I figured, you know ...

[callisto]

Good morning, All!

[NicknamedBob]

In consideration of your tagline, you may enjoy my "Nothing" poem.

Nothing


Apropos of nothing, I have nothing to say,
Nothing comes to mind about this word today.
“What are you thinking?” He was asked, “Nothing.” He replied.
And thus invented zero. Nothing new for numbers is implied.

I’ve been collecting lots of it. It isn’t hard to find,
And if you take a portion no one ever seems to mind.
Somewhere inside in my pocket there is a good supply.
And sometimes when I shed a tear there’s nothing in my eye.

In my refrigerator, there’s even more to see,
Of dietary nothingness, in great variety.
I have low-calory, and zero carbohydrate,
And even empty bottles in a partly filled milk-crate.

The emptiness is rampant in the furnishings in here,
This small apartment seems so drab that nothing gives it cheer.
Nothing should convince you that I always wear a frown,
I wouldn’t want to let you think that nothing gets me down.

Nothing like a friendship to disrupt your daily thought,
And nothing of emotion comes to make you more distraught.
Nothing for companionship to while away the hours,
And nothing in the vase that I have set aside for flowers.

Nothing on the telly, and nothing here to read,
Nothing can distract me, so imagination’s freed.
Relaxing here this evening, and trying to unwind,
Just sitting here so quietly with nothing on my mind.

NicknamedBob . . . . . . . . . . August 27, 2004

[NicknamedBob]

It’s very cheerful to see skeletons high-fiving each other.

[callisto]

I like that aspect too. It seemed an appropriate pic for this thread and this morning!

[NicknamedBob]

It seems to be indicative of “vigor mortis”.