Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[rottndog]

This is the sofa in my office we’re talking about here...

[Darksheare]

Floating fiery cattle.
Giving me bad ideas there.

[Darksheare]

Using the Master Lock and then eats the keys, right?

[NicknamedBob]

“How do you “niss” a milking session?”

That was a typo. I meant to say “<iss”.

[Monkey Face]

It matters not where the sofa is. It is a weapon of insidious evil. Teach the Girlies to be ware of it, especially after large meals, or great desserts.

[Darksheare]

Even worse, they have a far more powerful siren call.
And they keep spare change from you as well.

[Monkey Face]

OK...that will be two quarters...

[NicknamedBob]

Do you take €uros?

[Monkey Face]

Not.

They don’t fit in my piggy bank.

[NicknamedBob]

Neither will fitty cent.

[sionnsar]

>"Nicknamed Bob is a genius."
"Indeed he is -- and humble to boot."

I'd like the opportunity to defend myself. I have long maintained that I never take an IQ test, because that way I can accurately state that my IQ can not be measured.
Besides, I'm working on advanced degrees in "coot" and "crank" now.

I'll say the designation is informal -- NnB is the kind of guy who strikes [me] as one who would show the limits of the test.

Not sure what a "coot" is (reminds me of an ugly little bird we didn't like on campus at college), though.

But NnB, you've got an awful lot of work ahead of you to get to "crank"! (Unless you've been hiding it. *\;-)

[rottndog]

Unfortunately, the girlies have already been entangled in the sofa’s web.

[Monkey Face]

I was hoping he’d try for “curmudgeon.” It sounds so much more...um...”business-like.”

[Monkey Face]

See?
I bet the three of you were taken in by the sofa’s innocent appearance, weren’t you?

[Tax-chick]

I am going to show him/her my herd and light the Bic when he/she isn’t looking.

Are your Holsteins eating kudzu? And don't forget to fertilize with penguin poop!

Gotta run - the Spanish choir is here!

[sionnsar]

Then, we’ll do the Hindenburg Experiment II.

Cool! Then the head of The Episcopal Church USA (TEC) can update her book cover:

[callisto]

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks

I think these dudes have TOO much time on their hands! Thanks for the poings.

[callisto]

shoot...poings = pings

I appear to be inheriting the typo disease. LOL

[Monkey Face]

Well, we DO try to keep the zombies in the Lower Levels, but sometimes they escape. If they get too bad, we have to send them to Washington, DC to mangle mingle with Congress.

Sometimes, they even manage to make a difference.

[Darksheare]

Insidious.
Horrible.