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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^
| William M Briggs
Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”
The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: sionnsar
2,221
posted on
02/29/2008 8:13:12 AM PST
by
Conspiracy Guy
(I voted Republican because no Conservatives were running.)
To: Conspiracy Guy
Ready? We’re there already!
2,222
posted on
02/29/2008 8:14:03 AM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
2,223
posted on
02/29/2008 8:14:41 AM PST
by
rottndog
(When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
To: sionnsar
Heck. I’ve been away too long.
2,224
posted on
02/29/2008 8:17:38 AM PST
by
Conspiracy Guy
(I voted Republican because no Conservatives were running.)
To: Darksheare
When I need some dark, descriptive prose to describe anything I calling on you, Darks. You have a way with words that sends the appropriate chill up my spine. Tis better than a thrill up Chris Matthews' leg...LOL
2,225
posted on
02/29/2008 5:52:12 PM PST
by
callisto
(CONGRESS.SYS corrupted...Re-boot Washington DC (Y/N)?)
To: NonLinear
Hey, where did everybody go?
2,226
posted on
02/29/2008 6:48:37 PM PST
by
NonLinear
(McCain: Hey, he is only 85% bad instead of 100% like the other guys!)
To: NonLinear
We have new digs! Link at post 2219.
2,227
posted on
02/29/2008 6:49:48 PM PST
by
Not A Snowbird
(Some people are like slinkys, the idea of them tumbling down a flight of stairs makes you smile.)
To: SandyInSeattle
How did you know I wasn’t a zombie, just pretending to be lost?
2,228
posted on
02/29/2008 7:06:01 PM PST
by
NonLinear
(McCain: Hey, he is only 85% bad instead of 100% like the other guys!)
To: NonLinear
Wow, I never thought of that. How do we know we aren't all zombies?
2,229
posted on
03/01/2008 7:37:50 AM PST
by
Not A Snowbird
(Some people are like slinkys, the idea of them tumbling down a flight of stairs makes you smile.)
To: sionnsar
OMG, I have been on FR for nearly 10 years and I had no idea this thread existed. I guess this is going to cost me some time to read through it. If there is an undead ping list please put me on it.
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