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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^
| William M Briggs
Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”
The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: Lady Jag
2,081
posted on
02/25/2008 1:14:59 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Tax-chick
If it were I’d become a magician!
2,082
posted on
02/25/2008 1:17:27 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Always look on the bright side of life)
To: Lady Jag
Change comes from within...
2,083
posted on
02/25/2008 1:32:21 PM PST
by
Dead Corpse
(What would a free man do?)
To: Dead Corpse; sionnsar; GregoTX; abigailsmybaby; KoRn; GrammaBear; Eaker; rottndog; Monkey Face; ...
Believe it not Dead Corpse WINS!
When the Buddhist asked the vendor for change, the vendor replied, "Change must come from within."
2,084
posted on
02/25/2008 1:38:53 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Always look on the bright side of life)
To: Lady Jag
I can never figure out the right answer to this sort of thing! My sons are always asking, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” and I never get it right.
2,085
posted on
02/25/2008 1:41:14 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Tax-chick
2,086
posted on
02/25/2008 1:52:42 PM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
To: sionnsar
The boys say that’s not the right answer. “To get away from Shannon” isn’t the right answer, either.
2,087
posted on
02/25/2008 1:54:22 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Monkey Face
It might. Though I’ve got a few things to do this week before the trip Saturday.
2,088
posted on
02/25/2008 1:55:00 PM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
To: Tax-chick
“To get away from Shannon” isn’t the right answer, either. Not if it's going from the Bahamas to Scotland, it isn't.
2,089
posted on
02/25/2008 1:59:25 PM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
To: sionnsar
It’s probably illegal to bring a chicken from the Bahamas to Scotland. EU agricultural regulation ...
2,090
posted on
02/25/2008 2:03:38 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Lady Jag
Hey... What do you mean “believe it or not”? Credit it me with at least a certain level of academic achievement. Even if it is limited to obscure punch lines...
2,091
posted on
02/25/2008 2:12:51 PM PST
by
Dead Corpse
(What would a free man do?)
To: Tax-chick
“Why did the chicken cross the road?” Because he was stapled to a PETA activist.
2,092
posted on
02/25/2008 2:15:06 PM PST
by
Dead Corpse
(What would a free man do?)
To: Dead Corpse
2,093
posted on
02/25/2008 2:16:43 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Tax-chick
From “Over the Hedge”? Weedhacker...
2,094
posted on
02/25/2008 2:19:37 PM PST
by
Dead Corpse
(What would a free man do?)
To: Tax-chick
The chicken crossed the road for complex reasons. I think that's why we hear so many different versions of her story.
2,095
posted on
02/25/2008 2:31:32 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Always look on the bright side of life)
To: Dead Corpse
Waddaya mean? I gave you credit! You’re not being one with anything!
2,096
posted on
02/25/2008 2:33:24 PM PST
by
Lady Jag
(Always look on the bright side of life)
To: Dead Corpse
Pat says “weedeater” is the answer. At least sometimes.
2,097
posted on
02/25/2008 3:36:47 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Tax-chick
Where'd everyone go...?
Left work a little early (not all that much), got home, wrote and sent off another letter to some legislators (last of the set for now) and now... am wiped.
Almost too much to even pick up the manual for the new cellphone I bought today. The old one gave me four years' good service but is dying (LoM's died a year ago). Almost feel guilty for switching over to a flashy new model, but it will probably replace my PDA also.
2,098
posted on
02/25/2008 4:43:34 PM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
To: sionnsar
2,099
posted on
02/25/2008 4:50:55 PM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
To: sionnsar
2,100
posted on
02/25/2008 4:51:11 PM PST
by
sionnsar
(trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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