Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[NicknamedBob]

"Party? Where?"

Oh, why not? In the Castle courtyard, about three o'clock local, with hydrogen filled balloons, stilt-walkers, hot dogs, and face painting.

Everybody bring your own. Musicians, set up in the left corner as you enter from the drawbridge.

Pony and plesiosaur rides at the discretion of the parents.

[fanfan]

Three o’clock?

I’ll be there.

Now, to call my Mom for permission to ride the plesiosaur......

[Tax-chick]

Fire up the margarita machine! The Spanish Mass Choir will sing a selection of cowboy songs, and our very popular mariachi-style Gregorian chant!

[fanfan]

[Tax-chick]

Ole’!

[Tax-chick]

I brought a pony, for those who can't swim:

[fanfan]

Here are some balloons....

Bob, you are late. Bad host.

[Tax-chick]

Who's going to pay the stilt-walkers?

[NicknamedBob]

"Who's going to pay the stilt-walkers?"

Pay?

*Bob looks around for something to drink.*

[Tax-chick]

And what’s the ostrich going to drink?

[NicknamedBob]

.

Gee, I thought they’d get a kick out of it.

[fanfan]

Who's going to pay the stilt-walkers?

Um, Bob?

[Professional Engineer]

with hydrogen filled balloons,

Say, this would be an opportune time to test my smoldering match blow gun.

[Tax-chick]

Have a beer and forget about it:

[fanfan]

WOO-HOO!

We’re gonna have a bonfire!

[fanfan]

We’re gonna have a bonfire!

Roast Zeta?

[NicknamedBob]

Marsh melons.

[Tax-chick]

“Mothmellers,” as James says.

[fanfan]

Doesn’t silicone explode when heated?

[Tax-chick]

This party needs a lemur:

Susan would come, but she's just eaten a mouse and needs to rest.