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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^
| William M Briggs
Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”
The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: NicknamedBob
You know in your heart what that Christmas card will cause don’t you? hint It’s made of carbon basically.
1,481
posted on
02/14/2008 7:59:16 PM PST
by
TigersEye
(This is the age of the death of reason.)
To: TigersEye
Well, since it occupies a place of honor in my house, I guess you could say it’s a form of carbon sequestration.
I mean, regardless of how you feel about him, that’s one pretty First Lady.
I don’t think Bill would have been able to measure up.
1,482
posted on
02/14/2008 8:04:11 PM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
To: NicknamedBob
1,483
posted on
02/15/2008 3:41:18 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: Tax-chick
Morning, T-C.
Clear skies for us. It should be a pleasant weekend.
It probably won’t be, but it should be.
1,484
posted on
02/15/2008 4:32:29 AM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
To: NicknamedBob
A little cloudy here today, but the forecast says 65. We might get rain tomorrow.
Another Girl Scouts cookie booth this afternoon, and *another* tomorrow morning. Sigh.
1,485
posted on
02/15/2008 4:38:39 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: HKMk23
Mine all sploded, or burst into flames upon my caress.
I dunno what was wrong.
*he says while wearing gauntlets of annihilation*
1,486
posted on
02/15/2008 6:22:53 AM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Dead Corpse
They made “can’t hear” hand motions and began the chiseling in front of me, so I assume so.
1,487
posted on
02/15/2008 6:23:30 AM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: HKMk23
Awwww! That’s was so thoughtful! Thanks!
1,488
posted on
02/15/2008 6:53:20 AM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: NicknamedBob
Door seals? How did you train them to watch the doors?
1,489
posted on
02/15/2008 6:54:48 AM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Monkey Face
1,490
posted on
02/15/2008 7:58:57 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: Tax-chick; NicknamedBob
Ah.
But how do they stand up?
1,491
posted on
02/15/2008 8:04:56 AM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Monkey Face
Not very well, what with having no feet.
1,492
posted on
02/15/2008 8:05:36 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: Tax-chick
1,493
posted on
02/15/2008 8:07:17 AM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Tax-chick
Girl Scout Cookies...
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG......
1,494
posted on
02/15/2008 8:22:34 AM PST
by
rottndog
("The Ides Of February, they have come." "Aye, but they are not gone..." And now they have.)
To: rottndog
I’ll have to give mine to the zombies!
Elen has another cookie booth this afternoon - gotta run!
1,495
posted on
02/15/2008 8:32:33 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: Tax-chick
1,496
posted on
02/15/2008 8:35:04 AM PST
by
rottndog
("The Ides Of February, they have come." "Aye, but they are not gone..." And now they have.)
To: Monkey Face
Some for you too...
1,497
posted on
02/15/2008 8:36:01 AM PST
by
rottndog
("The Ides Of February, they have come." "Aye, but they are not gone..." And now they have.)
To: rottndog
YUMMY!!!
Thanks! Breakfast looks really good! (That IS breakfast, isn’t it?...)
1,498
posted on
02/15/2008 8:55:41 AM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: rottndog
1,499
posted on
02/15/2008 8:56:29 AM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Monkey Face
1,500
posted on
02/15/2008 8:56:46 AM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
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