Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[darkangel82]

They seem to have zombified all the candidates.

[Darksheare]

Yes, brains munched on the whole lot of them.
Doubly so with the UFO candidates.

[Darksheare]

This should sound familiar.
(I had nothing to do with it.)

[SunkenCiv]

If this topic is like all the other undead threads, it’s probably a huge waste of time.

I specialize in that.

;’)

[Monkey Face]

Zombies must be handled carefully.

And besides: They inhabit the lower levels, not the Castle Proper!

And the Dust Bunnies keep them under contol.
;o]

[Darksheare]

Glad to have you aboard!
We can always use extra input to the randomness of our wanderings.

[Monkey Face]

Of course, you’ll need the Misguided Tour, eventually. But do us all a favor and don’t swim in the moat unless you have someone with you. Just in case.

[Darksheare]

The lower levels aren't so aesthetically pleasing.

[Monkey Face]

Did they eat all the zombies?

[SunkenCiv]

Dust bunnies? Let’s check that out...

[Darksheare]

(Un)Fortunately not.
And the zombies don’t know what to make of ‘em.

[Monkey Face]

Rivals for turf? Or bigger morsels?

[Darksheare]

Neither knows at this point.

[Monkey Face]

Ah. You get the chairs, I’ll get the popcorn!

[Darksheare]

If they team up, what then?

[Monkey Face]

Well send for the Dwarves, of course!
And more popcorn!

[Darksheare]

I hear tell the dwarves are doing their ritual ear cleaning.
Send them in during their festival.

[Monkey Face]

Now THAT is a sight to behold! LOL!
(You sure we won’t run out of popcorn?)

[NicknamedBob]

"Dust bunnies? Let’s check that out..."

We did post warnings ...

Dustbunnies

The sound that all dustbunnies make,
Depends on the form the bunnies take.
Sawdust bunnies grind and scrape,
While cottons make a quiet escape.

Woolens have a sheepish stare,
And murmurs that disturb the air.
Dustbunnies to evoke your dread,
Are those that lurk beneath your bed.

Insurgent bunnies, trained just so,
On tiptoe and in silence go,
But growing in such numbers that,
A stealth attack could kill a cat!

Poor Kitty! In her master’s room,
Hairballed down to dusty doom.
If you want to survive, then ya gotta get mean!
Bring yer vacuum out! Keep yer filters clean!

NicknamedBob . . . . April 11, 2006

[sionnsar]

‘Morning, all. Didn’t really want to be up this early, but didn’t get a say. Breakfast begins in an hour, class in three. I suppose I should review the 150+ slide powerpoint...