DUmmie FUnnies 10-30-06 (ALL Is Going According To The Perfect Rovian Plan)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 30, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[Purrcival]

Omigosh! Touchscreen voting machines mysteriously changing votes for Democrats into votes for Republicans???? Send in the crack ghostbusters from...

[Purrcival]

Here's a hint for DUmmies who want to learn how to use that newfangled touchscreen technology correctly:

Be sure touch the box FOR THE CANDIDATE FOR WHOM YOU ARE CASTING YOUR VOTE, not just sorta-kinda in the vicinity. This is a proven technique, and has worked for me EVERY SINGLE TIME, without fail. If you screw up and fat-finger your choice on the screen, the review screen will give you an actual chance to correct your vote!

Other than that, I agree with others on the thread. These anecdotal claims are pretty worthless, and the DUmmies are getting these stories together in case they need ammo for their bogus "Diebold fraud" claims. How about some REAL EVIDENCE?

[Luircin]

The sad part is they bought it.

Hah. I told my co-workers the same thing and they bought it too. I should have let them keep believing it.

[Cheburashka]

Or KY jelly. It's notorious for fouling up electronic devices, and besides gerbils hate the stuff.
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Gerbils don't hate the KY jelly itself. It's that the gerbils know what Richard Gere is going to do next with them.

[Cheburashka]

I can't translate my Marching Orders until I properly calibrate my VRWC Decoder Ring. And the Marching Orders already came in late this month. It's October, dammit! We need to get them earlier than the last weekend of the month!
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I know what you mean. I hate marching without my Marching Orders.

[GeorgiaDawg32]

I got my VRWC decoder ring not long ago..the first message I received was, "Rove monthly orders are back-ordered..please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery"...:-(

[beans36]

...but since i don't care who knows that i will never vote republican i told him yes, then gave him a piece of my mind...

Careful there, Einstein...you don't appear to have a whole lot to spare.

[CzarNicky]

I'm going to try voting all democrat and see if any of them switch over to Republican on the on the review screen.

[ThreeYearLurker]

You must not read DU Funnies often enough. Now is the time for you to insert a benburch - Fat Che joke here.

[Budge]

I voted early today. I started to scream that all my votes were changed to demoncrats. :) But I didn't. Not only that, but I forgot to yell, "ROVE, YOU MAGNIFICENT BARSTARD!"

[Charles Henrickson]

He touched the screen for gubernatorial candidate Jim Davis, a Democrat, but the review screen repeatedly registered the Republican, Charlie Crist.

I think this is a nice feature, don't you? Kind of like a spell-check or an auto-correct, so you don't end up voting for the lesser choice.

[Charles Henrickson]

"It worries me because the races are so close."

Don't worry, they won't be close after we get done with them.

[Charles Henrickson]

Didn't we go through all this when Bev Harris was pulling DUers chains?

Don't forget BBEV's protégé, Andy Stephenson. Undie the Fundee and the F.O.A. pulled your chains also.

[Charles Henrickson]

No wonder rove had his usual smirk...

Karl Rove and Smirky McChimp: The hardest smirking men in show business.

[Charles Henrickson]

Those Machines should be detained for forensic purposes

CSI: Diebold

[Charles Henrickson]

SHE WILL SAY THE MACHINE HAD A GLITCH.

Will someone please explain to me why the "glitch" always works in favor of Repugs?

DIEBOLD! THE GLITCH IS RED!
Tune: "Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead!"

Diebold! The glitch is Red!
Which old glitch? The tricky glitch!
Diebold! The tricky glitch is Red!

Dean done! The Dems are dead!
Which old Dems? The wacked-out Dems!
Dean done! The wacked-out Dems are dead!

This vote is touch-and-grow;
Your tears will overflow.
Although your hopes are up, it's Rove--
By Jove, it's over!

King Karl! The Rove you dread!
Which old Rove? The roguish Rove!
King Karl! The roguish Rove you dread!

[gidget7]

hahahaha

Great addition!

WOnder why the Dims have been silent on a connection to Chavez, regarding electronic voting machines?? hmmmmmmmm I wonder.......

[Charles Henrickson]

WTF is it going to take to get people angry enough to get off their asses???

OFF YOUR SEATS
AND TO THE STREETS!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[PJ-Comix]

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #950.

Just 50 PINGEEs to go to the MAGIC 1000!!!

[Charles Henrickson]

I don't remember ever reading of a Bush to Kerry flip

Kerry did enough flipping on his own.