Good gravy, why does Pitt continue to bother us with the details of his sex life? (And BTW, why is the Midnight Cowboy barfly throwing the word "staggering" around? I'm sure he staggers home most nights, and has the political opinions he does as a result of alcohol-induced brain damage.
FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous.
ROTFLMBO!! Oh man, he still has no freakin' idea who you are, or is desperate to keep the DUmmies from finding out, while still using you as a whipping boy. A guy who drinks as much as him should never try such a balancing act.
Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:
Oh, you mean that bouncer who you portrayed as a drooling, worshipful moron? Oh, sorry, make that the HUGE bouncer you portrayed as a drooling, worshipful moron?
Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true.
Well, there are some things that not even DUers are dumb enough to believe.
That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true.
My advice to anyone who takes this challenge: Expect to be paid in Chuck E. Cheese tokens.
If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.
Sure, plenty of DUmmies have 10 grand sitting around that they can risk on some stupid internet bet. And a nice honest Friend of Andy would never, ever run a con on them, right, Pitt? You've probably already got the money spent in your head on new Midnight Cowboy outfits and bulk purchases of KY and Smirnoff.
Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.
Wait a minute, Pitt has a bosom? I thought he was flamingly gay, not a transexual. Actually, here I am not sure if I should be wondering "Could Pitt be any dumber" or "Could Pitt think the DU crowd is any dumber?" Decisions, decisions...
This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay.
"I put up ten grand as an incentive for somebody to do something, and they actually did it! How dare they!" Now we know why Pitt is a liberal, he has a "two plus two equals negative twenty-six" level understanding of economics.
Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate.
Yeah, I can just hear PJ now..."Listen, punk, you're gonna stay on this phone while I read you this novel, and you're gonna like it! I pity the fool who don't help me win Pitt's money!"
Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to f*ck with this guy at work.
A flaming homosexual who enjoys Midnight Cowboy-wear is talking about "F@#$ing with a guy at work." Wow. That is just to darn easy.
Ever have a random stranger call you at work?
No, I don't swing that way. Oh wait, you weren't talking about gay hookups? Well, yeah, I've had random strangers call me at work. I sure wouldn't be afraid of it, especially if I were a hulking bouncer in a city thousands of miles away from the caller. Are you saying Ty is a wuss, Pitt?
Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only.
A blogger busting a fellow blogger for lying is not making a "personal call," especially when the call will alert the victim of the lying to slander ditrected at his person by a known Communist enemy of the United States.
So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.
Ty's "your boy?" Wow, I'm sure he feels honored beyond his wildest dreams.
Why?
Beecause the way you become an ace is by never passing up a chance at an easy target.
Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years,
Truth-telling? Yeah, sure, and the Dems will win a 70% majority in Congress next year because BouncyBall has converted milions of conservatives in to looney leftists by jumping out of the bushes and throwing lib platitudes at them. As for the rest...yeah Pitt, you're a real one-man Woodward & Bernstein.
this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.
Yeah, I can hear that mean ol' PJ now: "You WILL say Pitt lied, maggot! Or I will come through the phone and rip out your eyeballs! FEAR ME, YOU PUKE!!!"
In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back,
Is that what you sodomites are calling that these days? Huh.
tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.
I can see the headline now: "William Rivers Pitt exposed as liar. Millions ask, 'Who the #$%^ is William Rivers Pitt?'" Yeah, that's a real path to fame and glory there.
Too bad for him, though, that the story was true.
"Ty is indeed a mouth-breathing idiot of Cletus the slack-jawed yokel proportion. He is so dumb, he believed me when I told him about the magic tape recorder that lives in my cowboy hat."
Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty.
Funny how much that account differs from PJ's...
Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."
You forgot the part where he said that the calls upset his wife Brandeen, you arrogant bag of crap.
I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to f*ck with my friend.
I'm sure that you have also had many failed attempts to #$%^ with Ty. "Hey big fella, come on back to my place and I'll show you my invisible sign that says, 'Gvie Will Pitt some monkey-lovin'!"
After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.
Wait, are we talking about PJ, or about your failed attempts to convert Ty to The Love That Dares Not Speak Its Name? I lost track.
But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"
ROTFLMBO!! C'mon, you didn't really do that, did you PJ?
I told him to f*ck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.
"I was able to do this because I am an expert in self-gratification."
Morals:
...are woefully absent on DU in general and in Pitt's case in particular. Do go on.
I don't lie in my essays;
Well, I and my girlfriend Morgan Fairchild agree wholeheartedly with you. Now, come on down and buy an Isuzu; the 2006 models get 352 miles per gallon.
If you have questions, I am not hard to find;
Translation: "So, if I lie about somebody on the Internet, especially a person I make look stupid, and especially a person who could pound me into jelly, make sure you talk to me, and I'll confirm the quotes for you. You can trust me! And for cryin' out loud, if I offer you $10,000 to do something, that doesn't mean I want you to do it!"
Don't f*ck with my friends;
"That's my job. You know, the invisinble sign thing. You can have the women, though."
Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous.
[Comment about the type of back-related action Pitt prefers have been censored by the mods.]
Put the work in;
[More censoring required.]
Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;
Pitt has gone from "Ty is too stupid to understand the news without my help" to "Ty is a hyper-irritable caveman who goes to hatred and violence the moment a conservative inconveniences him with facts." Well, if I didn't know the original essay was a pants-igniting lie, I would figure this change meant that Pitt really did convert Ty to liberalism.
[Maybe Ty will eat YOUR liver when he actually gets around to reading how you portrayed him plus that public bounty offer you made, Pitt.]
Yeah, Pitt still wants us to believe this Ty guy is the dumbest human on Earth: "Pitt put $10,000 on table, but it not Pitt's fault me have to talk to bad man. It bad man's fault. Me like Pitt, but Pitt needs to get his hand off Ty's butt now. Pitt making me feel all weird inside."
Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to f*ck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.
Must...not...make...obvious...cruising...joke....
In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.
Some little piggies might figure that when you put up a $10,000 dollar bounty, that means it's OK for them to do the work to get it. "Here's the challenge, take it. ...What? HOW DARE YOU TAKE THIS CHALLENGE?????"
Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating.
Aw, poor baby.
I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.
"WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! I dared people to expose me and they made a couple of phone calls! It's like being a Jew in Nazi Germany! I'm so persecuted! WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!" Hey, next time try telling the truth, try to not portray large conservatives as cavemen who get the gift of fire from the Almighty Pitt, and maybe try not discussing folks on the net without their permission in the first place, much less doing it and THEN DARING PEOPLE TO FIND THE GUY!" Oh, and one last piece of advice: make sure your health insurance is paid up. Unless Ty is even dumber than you've portrayed and he can't figure out how to use the Internet, he is going to figure this out and you are going to need an emergency room visit.
Hey, wait a minute...Pitt portrays himself as Prometheus, and he delivers fire to the caveman Ty...and now we're talking about eating livers. Hey Pitt, you should have read all the way through the story, you end up chained to a rock with an eagle eating your liver every day. Yum!
Hilarious.
Sure. I want wacko leftists on my Podcast. The more they talk, the more they destroy their own credibility. HOWEVER, Pitt inadvertently gave me a terrific idea in this regard about exposing leftists. Sorry. Don't want to post it here for other Podcasters to rip off.
aka The Gary Hart Syndrome.
(Pssst...Whatever else Pitt may be, he's not gay.)
The pic of him and the lookalike who were caught mugging it up on camera pretending to kiss was just them playing around. Pitt had a fiance of some years duration and they broke up, tried to get back together and then broke up again. He got reamed (punny, punny!) on DU for spending $600.00 on a evening out with her until he explained it was her birthday and part of the money had gone to buy her a watch as a gift.
Pitt, if you're reading this, I'm not stalking you and yes, I know way too much about you. I can only plead insomnia and needing something to do to put me back to sleep in the wee hours of the morn.
You gonna take that from him?