Posted on 12/30/2005 5:24:52 AM PST by PJ-Comix
Talk about Reality Challenged DUmmies! First William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt posts this Reality Challenged THREAD titled, "Going Too Far (or, my conversation with the Bush supporter at the bar)" in which he was MIRACULOUSLY able to reproduce in word-for-word detail a long conversation he had with Ty, whom Pitt described as a Bush supporter who, under the guidance of the All-Wise and erudite Pitt, was able to see the error of his ways. Maybe I am far inferior to the incredible Pitt intellect but, sans tape recorder, I would be hard pressed to reproduce in quotes a long conversation I had even a few minutes earlier, much less from a least a day before as Pitt indicated. Even some DUmmies cast aspersions on Pitt's claim of being able to reproduce his conversation in all its fine detail. Then late last night, Pitt posted a reality challenged (fictional) account of what transpired between us in this DUmmie THREAD titled, in Pittian style, "In the shadow of staggering assholes." Pied Piper Pitt's fictional fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to correct the fictional record, is in the [brackets]:
In the shadow of staggering assholes
[Still talking about your failed September rally, eh Pitt?]
FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous. Don't ask who it was, either in this thread or via PM. I will not say. Sufficed to say, the following did happen, and the person was a present or former DUer.
[Congratulations for getting to the fiction RIGHT AWAY. FOR THE RECORD: I am not now nor have I ever been a DUmmie. And "DUmmie FUnnies" which is how I introduced myself, is a DUmmie screen name?]
Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:
["Y'all." Isn't that the type of terminology you ascribe to unenlightened Bush supporters in stark contrast to your own erudite commentary?]
http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/122905A.shtml
["Truthout." Appropriate name.]
Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true. That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true. If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.
[Why go to the trouble of hopping a flight to Boston? Making a phone call is a bit easier.]
Well.
[Will.]
Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.
[LOL! The fictional assumptions in that paragraph are astounding. First of all, I have never even been to Boston ever plus, I assure you I am not now nor have I ever been in the DNC. As to the "bosom of your hospitality..." Sorry, I don't swing that way.]
This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay. Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate. Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to f*ck with this guy at work.
[Actually, inspired by YOUR challenge, I called a couple of Boston establishments asking if a Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. Two to be exact. Both told me no Ty worked there. End of conversation. Oh, and I checked my cell phone log and the total elapsed time of the call to the bar where Ty did work act was exactly 36 seconds. Hardly time to Demand and demand and demand. An account of those phone calls was posted on this Free Republic THREAD at Reply #72 right after they happened.]
Ever have a random stranger call you at work?
[Yes. And I always enjoy the break from the routine it affords me. Of course, I never actually talked to Ty when I made those first two calls.]
Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only. So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.
[I asked if Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. When told no, I hung up. Total elapsed phone time according to my cell phone log was 36 seconds. "Pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed?" Perhaps in your fictional alternate reality, Pitt.]
Why?
[Why write such astounding fiction? Continue...]
Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years, this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.
[Actually Ty called ME back later as I recounted immediately afterward in my Reply #111 in this Free Republic THREAD. He had NOT heard about your piece about him and was curious for me to read it to him. He even waited until I booted up my computer. Since the connection was bad, Ty told me he would call back later on a landline so he could hear the rest of the piece. Oh, and that part about "truth telling" by Pitt gave me a chuckle.]
In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back, tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.
[You've already been exposed MANY times in your own words here on the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt. My fave was the bit about a fascistic "Third American Empire" and how rampant fanatical nationalism was born the day the USA won the 1980 Olympic Hockey Game against the Soviet Union.]
Too bad for him, though, that the story was true. Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty. Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."
[WRONG AGAIN, Baked Bean Breath! You called me back and told me Ty was standing next to you when I asked if he was there. Then you REFUSED to let me read to Ty word for word your own piece. Get your fictional narrative straight, Pitt. Oh, and here is the account at Reply #129 at this FR THREAD immediately after you called me. Five minutes later (according to phone log) I called you back and Ty in that timeframe had somehow miraculously read that piece at the bar which sparked my skeptical antenna. An account of this posted immediately afterwards in my Reply #143 on this FR THREAD.]
Now here's the funny part.
[DUmmie threads are ALWAYS FUnnie.]
I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to f*ck with my friend. After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.
[Not as pathetic as your claim that even though you admitted that PDA worked with A.N.S.W.E.R. to organize the September Rally, you yourself NEVER EVER had any dealings with ANYBODY from A.N.S.W.E.R.. Yes, you were hermetically sealed and remained virgin pure. Oh, and you claimed that you never read the leftist Daily Kos piece declaring the September rally to have been an embarrassing flop. More fiction, Pitt?]
But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"
[That was in FIVE MINUTES later (according to cell phone log) when I called you back. Yes, I am planning a DUFU Podcast and to make it interesting I want guests who are either not into politics are have loony leftwing views like you, Pitt. Invitation still open. I'll even allow you to read your fiction on the Podcast.]
I told him to f*ck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.
[No directions and map did you give but you did curse colorfully. I'll give you that, Pitt.]
Morals:
1. I don't lie in my essays;
[I BEEEEELEEEEVEEEE!!! I BEEEEELEEEEEVE that Pied Piper Pitt has the astounding ability to accurately quote long detailed conversations WORD FOR WORD days after they take place without the use of a tape recorder. I BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]
2. If you have questions, I am not hard to find;
[Why go to you for a source? Just from this post you are proving yourself to be a fiction spinner.]
3. Don't f*ck with my friends;
[Maybe you shouldn't PUBLICLY post private "conversations" with friends and then offer a money bounty on its veracity.]
4. Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous. Put the work in;
[DUmmie FUnnies already has the BIGGEST Ping List on the FR. However, I do give you credit for the wealth of comedic material you have provided the DUFUs in the past, Pitt.]
5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;
[Maybe Ty will eat YOUR liver when he actually gets around to reading how you portrayed him plus that public bounty offer you made, Pitt.]
6. Don't beg for a podcast after making an asshole out of yourself.
[I think it was more "ask" than "beg." Strange thing is that Publicity Hound Pitt, after initially rejecting the idea, then started to seem open to it. Offer still stands, Pitt.]
Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to f*ck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.
[I'm not so sure he will be a friend of yours after he reads what you wrote about him. That plus your public bounty offer.]
In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.
[Try actually reading "Animal Farm," Pitt. It's anti-communist theme might even seep thru your thick skull.]
Anyway, this was my night. Fun, eh?
[Fiction, eh?]
Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating. I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.
[Maybe you shouldn't publicly offer bounties to defend your dubious veracity, Pitt. In any event, if your account of your original conversation with Ty is as accurate as the fiction you spun here, no wonder folks are casting doubt on it. However, thanx mucho for that chuckle about me being in the DNC!]
I think it was probably an attempt at sleight of hand...enough DUmmies realized his essay was fictional that he knows he's in trouble...so he is trying to put that issue aside by focusing on the evil person who persecuted Ty...and if he says it's a DUer, they won't go looking for a conservative suspect.
Of course, Occam's razor would suggest that Pitt just misunderstood PJ on the phone and really thinks he's under attack from within DU, but that would be a pretty big misunderstanding. Hey PJ, was the connection good during your conversation with Pitt? Could he have missed part of your statement identifying yourself? Of course, maybe I'm givng Pitt way too much credit, he is, after all, the guy who read the rise of the Fourth Reich into the end of a hockey game. It's not as if his powers of perception are very impressive.
Strange attitude, seeing as though he probably has to depend on the random kindness of strangers...
True, but how much more "evil" and conspiratorial is it if the DUer in question is a fair-weather friend? "Et tu, DUmmie?" It fits in with their paranoid nature, and it may be an intentional touch by Pitt. After all, we know that much of the professional activist Left depends on manipulating the amateur Left, mainly through appeals to emotion
At DU, having an independent thought is a matter of great disturbance and earth-moving consequence.
Dang. You owe me a new keyboard, you bag of crap. What a mental image!
I'd put my money on the "Ty" that called PJ not being the real TY, if there is even a real Ty.
Will, not only had YOU YOURSELF droned on and on and on with Ty AT WORK, you then INVITED people to talk to Ty AT WORK to check up on the veracity of your story. What's more, in your original "essay," you said that Ty doesn't even HAVE any work to DO, AT WORK: "My bar, one gets the sense, is too peaceful for his tastes; he has never been forced to exercise his talents while working at my joint."
Yes, this is a good place for a general note for Pitt and any other Internet tough guy DUmmies who like to threaten violence.
1. A large percentage of conservatives own firearms.
2. A large percentage of those of us who live in the concealed carry states never leave our homes unarmed.
3. A large percentage of those of us who live in other states have a weapon at hand in our homes. Many of us have chosen a shotgun because of its easy of use, and have so much ammo that we will still be firing right up until the police arrive, assuming we aren't able to plug you the minute you show up and reveal your violent intent..
4. A large percentage of us have received our firearms training from Uncle Sam. Even we Air Force and Navy types can put together an acceptably tight group, and we always aim for the center of the mass.
In other words, one of the most effective ways on God's green Earth to commit suicide would be to attempt to "eat the liver" of a Freeper. Of course, that's assuming you're not all keyboard commandos. Let's just say I'm not expecting to have to expend any rounds in the direction of any DUmmies; I'm sure they will stick to their basements and bars and keep on posting about eating our livers, but maliciously posted fantasies do not justify deadly force.
My, my, my, my, my. . . .
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! They are this dense and yet they figure the only way they aren't running the country is because the elections are rigged. Yeah, sure kids. Here's a nice ball for you to play with, go outside, willya?
So much is wrong with this.
Pitt was going to wipe the ground with PJ, Frank, et al...but they're still feelin' fine. Oops!
They supposedly harassed poor Andy "to his grave," but by calling a bar or two in Boston PJ has "taken harrassment to a new level." Oops!
And the whole "Freepers killed Andy" thing...yeah, we're the ones who gave him staph. Finally the truth is out. Man, these people are so dumb I'm surprised they even believe in germ theory and haven't accused us of putting a voodoo curse on the poor man.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! OH, STOP IT, PITT, YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!! HOOOO!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup, I was about to post along those lines. We're the "fascist regime", yet they are the ones who always invoke threats of violence in an attempt to bully things their way. Don't take them seriously though - most Lefty's would wet themselves at the first face-to-face enounter. The trembling, the shrill voice, the fear in thier eyes. LMAO.
I've had a group of Lefties that was in the tens try to have me arrested because I was engaging in "threatening behavior," namely standing about 75 feet from their meeting place with a sign. Granted, I'm 6'4" and weigh in at about 215, but in the real world a man my size only intimidates 30 inside a large brick building 75 feet away if he's carrying an AK-47 and a crowbar to force the door with. They like to portray themselves as brave rebels standing up against the BushCo evil empire, but they don't even have guts when they have massive numerical superiority and the "threat" is peaceful and unarmed.
sfexpat needs to be careful with those threats. When she goes to jail for her part in the Scamdy fraud, she may run into someone who wants to take down the toughest person in the joint...
Yup, and I understand that, when in Boston and at Bukowski's Tavern for lunch, the $1.69 burger special comes highly recommended. With cheap-o food like that, it's just gotta be a Pitt-style hangout. (BTW, googling the images section with Pitt's entire name provides some interesting pictures too.)
Thank you, I'm here all week! Try the veal!
Imagine being Ty...and imagine finding out about this debacle...and then imagine that you find out Pitt has been calling you his "boy"...How far do you think Ty will throw him?
Need to get DUFU Podcast going to feature those Henrickson songs. BTW, I am right now reading (ironically) "Podcasting for DUmmies." Anyway they were going thru the recording techniques (converting to MP3, audio card, etc.) when in one of their boxes they show an iRiver MP3 recorder to bypass all that. Well, duh! Of course, I'll get the recorder. Why bother with the complicated crap? Plus it's mobile. Fits right in the pocket and I can conduct interviews anywhere, not just in front of my computer.
Coming to theatres this spring "The Passion of the Bareback Cowboy" with Will Pitt starring as the main character and PJ as the Dummie Judas.
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