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Potential Republican Crack-Up

Posted on 07/31/2005 1:19:25 PM PDT by KMB

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To: Dead Corpse

LOL!
That face is better than a cup of coffee!


6,021 posted on 08/29/2005 9:05:56 AM PDT by Monkey Face (If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?)
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To: Dead Corpse
"... and build a tunnel under the street to the In-laws property."

I've got a cool design for a rig to get that tunnel built. Safely, too.

You might not like it. It would be a boring job.

6,022 posted on 08/29/2005 9:06:09 AM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: Tax-chick
I don't know about that. Got an 80% on the last paper I handed in because I followed my idiot professors instructions. Then she graded me down for it. I wrote her a rather bland "nasty-gram" e-mail whose subtleties will probably go right over her head.

I even cited from her own example paper and seminar quotations.

She hasn't exactly been the best instructor I've ever had.

6,023 posted on 08/29/2005 9:07:25 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Never underestimate the will of the downtrodden to lie flatter.)
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To: Monkey Face

I should probably expend some effort to find out who it is. Give them proper credit.


6,024 posted on 08/29/2005 9:08:02 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Never underestimate the will of the downtrodden to lie flatter.)
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To: NicknamedBob

N'yuck N'yuck...


6,025 posted on 08/29/2005 9:08:30 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Never underestimate the will of the downtrodden to lie flatter.)
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To: Dead Corpse

*snicker*


6,026 posted on 08/29/2005 9:14:33 AM PDT by Hi Heels (Guns kill and cause crime? Dang, mine must be malfunctioning....)
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To: Dead Corpse

Well, better luck next time!


6,027 posted on 08/29/2005 9:16:59 AM PDT by Tax-chick (Oklahoma is the cultural center of the universe ... take me back to Tulsa!)
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To: Dead Corpse

You'd have to do a little welding, and use some hydraulic jacks, but the advantage would be that you could work rather silently.

Care to relocate near a bank?


6,028 posted on 08/29/2005 9:21:28 AM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: Tax-chick

Let's see how she responds to me e-mail. I'm not expecting much.


6,029 posted on 08/29/2005 9:26:39 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Never underestimate the will of the downtrodden to lie flatter.)
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To: NicknamedBob

Welding, can do. What kind of jacks? House jacks? Or car jacks? No banks out by them. Not unless one of the Johnsons down the road buried a bunch of gold back during the Depression or something similar.


6,030 posted on 08/29/2005 9:27:56 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Never underestimate the will of the downtrodden to lie flatter.)
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To: Dead Corpse

Just regular car jacks.

The idea is to push a form ahead of you, then reinforce the tunnel with mortar and bricks. The hydraulics are for pushing the form.


6,031 posted on 08/29/2005 9:49:17 AM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: NicknamedBob
Ah...

I'd want this fairly big. Enough to drive a snowmobile or ATV through.

6,032 posted on 08/29/2005 9:53:32 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Never underestimate the will of the downtrodden to lie flatter.)
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To: Dead Corpse

The size you choose is what determines the welding to be done.

On the other hand, you'll need a good supply of bricks, but they don't have to be high-quality. You can used salvaged bricks from demolition projects.

It wouldn't be pretty, but who's going to see it? If you wanted it to be pretty, you could do murals after plastering.

Makes a good storm shelter, wine or root cellar also. Something to keep in mind.


6,033 posted on 08/29/2005 10:03:36 AM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: Dead Corpse

I'm picturing fingertip-to-fingertip, in the shape of an upside-down horseshoe, with a flat concrete floor. Tracks are your option.

Shelves, niches, and banchos (benches) are also a possibility, as long as they don't compromise structural integrity.

A ceiling height sufficient to accommodate small fluorescent fixtures, and you're all set.


6,034 posted on 08/29/2005 10:09:26 AM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: NicknamedBob

My father in law has a cement mixer and a concrete fetish. I'm sure we could figure something out.


6,035 posted on 08/29/2005 11:39:40 AM PDT by Dead Corpse (Never underestimate the will of the downtrodden to lie flatter.)
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To: Dead Corpse
Just to give you an idea, my daughter was instructed to do a paper on Volcanos. Alternate options were on disc in the form of a .ppt with paper copy extra credit, lots of criteria such as how many words, pictures, etc. Not only did we meet every single criteria, but VISITED a volcano, had ACTUAL photographs, paper AND disc copies clearly marked, drawings BY the child, and she got an F for the project. I go in and start the screaming. Teacher says, "what report? I didn't see a report? hUH?? Who am I?"

Told the counselor that if my daughter EVER has that instructor again, I'll complain to the school board. I caught her at least a dozen times mismarking papers, losing assignments that I gave her myself.... ridiculous. And they want a raise.

6,036 posted on 08/29/2005 11:46:44 AM PDT by Hi Heels (Guns kill and cause crime? Dang, mine must be malfunctioning....)
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To: Dead Corpse

hmmm... I suspect a "present" in that baby's diaper.....


6,037 posted on 08/29/2005 11:48:14 AM PDT by Hi Heels (Guns kill and cause crime? Dang, mine must be malfunctioning....)
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To: Hi Heels; Dead Corpse

Uh, no.

That would be "Outgoing."

As in, "My, you certainly have an outgoing child." -- *choke, gasp*


6,038 posted on 08/29/2005 12:16:10 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: Dead Corpse
"My father in law has a cement mixer and a concrete fetish. I'm sure we could figure something out."

I foresee an excellent sales job, resulting in Father-in-law footing the costs of the whole project. (And a certain individual whose initials are DC doing most of the work.)

Sales points; storm shelter, root cellar, security "backup" position, storage, food pantry, emergency exits, blackout haven, work area, ...

Other thoughts -- the ATV access could also be a way of moving stuff in or out during construction. If you want to not fill up the airspace with noxious fumes, remove the fuel and the spark plugs from the ATV, and "run" it on the starter, (short spins down the tunnel and back should not overstress it.)

Or possibly arrange another twelve volt motor to be the power plant for the tractor. You could rig a little cart with a twelve volt motor and reverse current to change direction. Ana would love it.

You might want to keep this project secret if you can. It would add to its security function to be so.

Natural gas available in that area?

6,039 posted on 08/29/2005 12:29:13 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: Hi Heels

I admire your restraint. I think I'd have opted for an on-the-spot demo of ancient Egyptian mummification practices. "And this hook was inserted into the cranium through the nose, like...SO, to extract the brain...uh, ahem...to extract the, uh...the... Alright, moron! Just how am I going to demonstrate reoving your brain for preservation in this jar, here, if YOU don't have one, huh?! Geesh! Not only can't you teach, you can't even do a good cadaver imitation!"

Some people have just missed their calling. The utility companies could really put them to good use. Just stand them in dirt up to their ankles alonside the highway and have them hold wires up over their heads.


6,040 posted on 08/29/2005 12:39:50 PM PDT by HKMk23 ('Re you gonna eat that?)
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