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DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Hasn't Slept Since April!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2005 | William Rivers Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/13/2005 7:36:25 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “’About the Andy Stephenson situation’---Skinner.” Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:

I could use a little help here

[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]

I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.

[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]

So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.

[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]

But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.

[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”
3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”
3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”
3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”
3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”
3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]

Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.

[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]

scotch. start about 3pm. you'll be out by 9

[Thunderbird. Start about 3 PM. You’ll be homeless by 9.]

Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.

[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]

sex?

[Unfortunately Andy can no longer be located.]

Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.

[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]

yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."

[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]

Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.

[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.

[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]

Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).

[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]

Eat lots of turkey! Turkey has natural sleep inducers in it.

[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]

My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.

[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]

Tonight I will do turkey, warm milk and the tub

[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]

Yes - I like Tylenol PM myself.

[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]

empty your mind, grasshopper...

[…be just like your fellow DUmmies, cricket…]

I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.

[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]

stop doing crystal meth that's what I had to do.

[speed_addiction…is that you?]

The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.

[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]

Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.

[Pitt’s problem is ALL mental.]

Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.

[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]

Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.

[Maybe not educational but Pitt’s own writings should do the trick.]

A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.

[It won’t work for me. I told you before that I’m allergic to wool.]

One word solution... PAMPER!

[One word solution… PAMPERS!]

White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).

[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]

Breathe thru your eyes ... Bull Durham

[Breath thru your butt … Andy Stephenson.]

Watch some mindless TV.

[Keith Olbermann.]

Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?

[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]

dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.

[“Puff the magic dragon down by the sea!”]

First of all, sleep is over-rated.

[Sleep? Who needs it!]

You need to start "shutting down" very gradually.

[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]

Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.

[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]

Go To An Acupuncturist ASAP.

[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]

want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end

[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]

You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…

[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?
May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”
May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”
May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]

Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.

[Flim Flam Man. The Sting.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; andystephenson; cashfortuck; dramaqueen; dummiefunnies; dummies; scams; skinner; williampitt
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To: Libertarian4Bush

Thank you very much for your opinion. We'll find out later this week (hopefully) for real.

Well, to cut it short...

IMHO, I have recluntantly taken Andy's side here. I believe he honestly believes he has cancer, and that's part of why he won't outright come and say "I've not been diagnosed with cancer". He believes he needs the money, and from what it sounds like, his tumor needs the same kind of surgery as the pancreatic cancer, and to say that he doesn't have cancer outright would cause him to lose that money. He doesn't feel like he's doing anything wrong here.

He's being secretive in so many other regards citing "privacy", yes, but you have to remember... liberals don't believe in accountability. So there's nothing insidious (to him) about being "private" and not accounting for his money flow.

In all honesty, I've done an 180 on this issue, and I'm going to be quitting DUFU for good, and getting off PJ's list, if he actually does get the Whipple Procedure. I don't think he's scamming anyone, I think he's just misguided and very scared for his life. I wish him all the best.


2,061 posted on 05/22/2005 4:03:44 PM PDT by Nataku X (I want to be a great masochist; how else am I supposed to learn how to be a great sadist?)
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To: Nataku X
so what's the story? how do we know he's a liberal? is he a vocal DUer? or was it a news story first, THEN someone googled him and found DNC ties, etc? has anyone outside of FR suggested he's scamming, or is this just a case of him being tossed in the shark tank, i.e. "he's a DUer so he MUST be lying!"?

*confoozled*

2,062 posted on 05/22/2005 8:19:36 PM PDT by Libertarian4Bush (sodie makes my teef hurt)
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To: Libertarian4Bush

Okay, you know Bev Harris and Black Box Voting that had the left wing blogs hoping that Ohio & the election would be overturned? Well, Andy Stephenson was Bev Harris's right-hand man (emphasis on "was"). He defected from her in late December, she was banned from DU, and he's been living off donations since (yes, even before he was ill).

He also has a lawsuit pending against Bev and was the one primarily responsible for convincing the DUers that they were scammed out of their money to Bev & BBV, ironically enough. Bev claims he has a $4K cashier's check that he never cashed, Andy claims he was never paid $33K and is suing her. IMHO that's unemployment wages, but Andy never figured out that he never qualified for it.

Yeah, this is too way soap opera-ish...


2,063 posted on 05/23/2005 3:47:45 AM PDT by Nataku X (I want to be a great masochist; how else am I supposed to learn how to be a great sadist?)
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To: Libertarian4Bush

Okay, to actually answer your questions, he's both a DUer and left wing activist. =) The bulk of his donations have been from DU, then Andy convinced Will Pitt he was at death's door and Will Pitt used his influence to get 120 other websites including Daily Kos et al to do a plea for donations to save him.


2,064 posted on 05/23/2005 3:50:13 AM PDT by Nataku X (I want to be a great masochist; how else am I supposed to learn how to be a great sadist?)
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To: Nataku X
sheesh... no one deserves cancer, but those people certainly all deserve EACH OTHER...

and no matter what he thinks (or fears) he has, accepting donations to treat a disease you don't have is bad news. I don't think the courts make a distinction between intentional and unintentional fraud.

2,065 posted on 05/23/2005 11:16:37 AM PDT by Libertarian4Bush (sodie makes my teef hurt)
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To: Libertarian4Bush
I don't know if it's fraud. They donated to give him a Whipple Procedure at JH, he's getting a Whipple Procedure at JH. Spending so much time focusing on the distinction between "pancreatic tumor, unknown if it's malignant" and "pancreatic cancer"... it made me feel so rotten, which is why I've quit spending time on this issue... unless you're involved, that is. :-)
2,066 posted on 05/23/2005 6:36:46 PM PDT by Nataku X (I want to be a great masochist; how else am I supposed to learn how to be a great sadist?)
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To: Nataku X
They donated to give him a Whipple Procedure at JH, he's getting a Whipple Procedure at JH.

ohhhh... hmmm. well, if that's the case, the rest DOES seem kind of superfluous. and even if he DID intend to scam others, he has enough deniability angles to avoid such a conviction. (i.e. "I really thought I had cancer", "THEY assumed I had cancer", "the donations were for the PROCEDURE", etc.) I can see why this all makes you feel bad against the backdrop of his health.

I vote for option 2: hang him for being a liberal and render the whole thing moot.

and besides, you can't unsubscribe from DUFU and leave them with ME - they'd hate you forever. ;)

2,067 posted on 05/24/2005 12:33:16 PM PDT by Libertarian4Bush (sodie makes my teef hurt)
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To: Libertarian4Bush
I vote for option 2: hang him for being a liberal and render the whole thing moot.

It's all settled then. *grin*
2,068 posted on 05/25/2005 3:47:49 AM PDT by Nataku X (I want to be a great masochist; how else am I supposed to learn how to be a great sadist?)
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To: PJ-Comix


Comments?



WilliamPitt (1000+ posts) Fri Jul-08-05 01:52 PM

Original message

Say hello to a bottomless rage

Edited on Fri Jul-08-05 01:56 PM by WilliamPitt

The cork is out of the bottle, and I am putting a few people on notice. You know who you are, you know what you did, and a good man has gone down in no small part because of you.

Throwing sand into the gears of the PayPal donations blew Andy off the surgery rotation, casusing him to have to wait a lot longer for his operation.

Spewing the claim time and again that the whole sickness was a fraud, very publicly and on as many blogs and boards as you could find, robbed Andy of the hope and will he needed to overcome this thing.

I think you fuckers should be forced to dig his grave. I think you should be buried with him.

I kept my mouth shut about you these last weeks because every time I said something about you or to you, you got a stiffy from the attention and ramped up your viciousness again. That's over with now.

I am going to make you famous in all the worst kinds of ways. I know your names, I know your addresses, I know your IP numbers, I have screen shots and copies of every vile statement and threat you ever made. I know everything I need to know. Get ready for the ram.

You are graveyard rats. I am going to grind you under my bootheel, scrape you off with a blade, and feed you to my cat.

One note to my fellow DUers: Leave off attacking the mods and admins at that "other" site. They were as disgusted by this as we were, but were hamstrung by the rules of their board which they take as seriously as the admins and mods here. They allowed me to post the documentary evidence over there, in no small part because they wanted the ugliness to stop. You may disagree with them, but they are good people.

They are not the ones who are on my list of things to do. Those on the list know who they are. Bad days are ahead for them. I promise.

We mourn for the next few days. We sing the songs of our friend.

And then we work.


2,069 posted on 07/08/2005 9:07:34 PM PDT by woofie (Neocon spelled backward is Nocoen)
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To: woofie
Comments?

Yes. Pied Piper Pitt's OWN comments of May 17 which you can read HERE.

2,070 posted on 07/09/2005 8:47:05 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

Thanks ...That pretty well sums it up


2,071 posted on 07/09/2005 9:00:35 AM PDT by woofie (Neocon spelled backward is Nocoen)
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To: woofie

Why do you insist on posting that rant by Pitt so many times? Just asking.


2,072 posted on 07/09/2005 9:23:27 AM PDT by RoyalsFan (Freepmail me if you want on my Royals ping list)
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To: RoyalsFan

I posted it on 3 separate threads about Andy Stevenson because I thought Will Pitt was threatening people and generally I think its a good idea to know what the DU folks are doing....
also if you read the thread there are a lot of links and references to FR


2,073 posted on 07/09/2005 9:38:24 AM PDT by woofie (Neocon spelled backward is Nocoen)
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To: woofie

Okay, thanks.


2,074 posted on 07/09/2005 9:48:40 AM PDT by RoyalsFan (Freepmail me if you want on my Royals ping list)
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