DUmmie FUnnies 04-13-05 ("a war with the religious right is coming, cause that's what they want")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 13, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[Not A Snowbird]

Hey, there's alot to be said for us hot Baptist chicks!

[Charles Henrickson]

[Uncle Fud]

Of course I choose the latter option and for years my liberal friend was living in extreme paranoia thinking he was surrounded by right-wing conservative fundamentalists.

That is really sweet, PJ. We need a good thread devoted to ideas on tweaking leftist paranoia.

[Scothia]

This DU thread demonstrates the Undeniable Truth that the #1 driving force animating the DUmmies is their intense hatred of Christianity.

That hatred is motivated by their even more intense loathing of God. Note the proud pagan strutting, and the pronouncement of curses in the form of death wishes against us.

All across the world, it is the true Christians who have always suffered, who are being horribly persecuted even now. A great deal of this is at the hands of loony Socialist God-despisers like our good friends at DU.

Threads like this serve to demonstrate how these people's knowledge of what Believers think, espouse, and live wouldn't even make it out of the negative numbers column. When I read the paranoid prattle about the kids with the God's Army T-shirts, I about spit my toast on the monitor. It is the DU type who would gladly serve the Christian up to a bonfire or machete. That is why they have to start defaming us as terrorists--so they can shut off what's left of their conscience as they see us (in their fantasies) whisked off to cells or death chambers.

Meanwhile, I think it's time to cue the King Crimson music in honor of DUmmie mopaul. So, in his honor, here it is:

21st Century Schizoid Left!

[hattend]

Shhhh...We WANT them bringing pies and salad dressing to a gunfight.

[Always Right]

DU isn't just a web site, it a mental disorder.
Symptoms include: hatefulness, paranoid, delusional, vulgar, immoral, jealous, unemployable, and not so bright.
Known Cures: None, although maturity helps in rare cases.

[whereasandsoforth]

Dark is the absence of light.
Light IS NOT the absence of darkness.
Cold is the absence of heat.
Heat IS NOT the absence of cold.
DUmmies have neither the light of basic logic,
Nor the heat of a flickering soul.
They are harmful to themselves and useless to the rest of us.

[Charles Henrickson]

The increasing takeover of the Democrat Party by the Irreligious Left--since 1972, and even more so, since 1992--has been a big factor in driving traditional Democrats away from their party. If you hold to traditional morality, you are now a pariah in the Democrat Party. If you are a normal, married, church-going Christian, your beliefs and values are no longer welcome in the party of Big Abortion and Big Sodomy. The DUmmified Irreligious Left has done us a great service in marginalizing the Democrat Party.

[epow]

However, at this point the DUmmie theory fails since JWs have absolutely NOTHING to do with politics. In fact, they don’t even vote.]

Neither do they have anything to do with fundamental Christianity. IIRC, JW's don't believe in the divinity of Christ, which is the most fundamental belief of fundamentalist Christians.

[franksolich]

One of the most puzzling incidents, at least to me, during the 1984 presidential election (Reagan-Mundane) was a headline in the Omaha World-Herald, with a photograph of Walter Mundane speaking in front of a black congregation.

The headline?

"'I am not a racist,' says Mondale."

I scratched my head over this; who in 1984, in the Reagan presidential campaign, or otherwise a Republican or supporter of Reagan, ever claimed Mundane was a racist?

I really puzzled over this; who ever said said Mundane was racist?

[imskylark]

"(No one at my church ever fires off a gun at church -- not even one person."

I had a gun church one time. One old lady about had a fit. 'How dare you bring a gun to church!'

It was a musket reproduction someone had sold to my husband and they brought it to church to give to us. I think it is funny because the frontiersmen group my husband is with is part of the Assembly of God churches.

[imskylark]

"I had a gun church one time."

I butchered that sentence!

[justshutupandtakeit]

Apostates all. You need to join the 50 Caliber Christian Fellowship.

[epow]

Oh, and let’s not forget about the gun rack on the pulpit. Plus the preachers are always using that Dirty Harry “holding a 44 Magnum in my hand” line as part of their sermons.]

Forget? How could I forget a pastor who's packing a .44 mag Ruger Blackhawk on his hip when he hands me the communion wafer??

Actually DUmmies are wise to be wary of us fundies. Most of us are packin heat all the time, and you never know when something in our little pea-brains may snap at the sight of a pierced & studded freak with a technicolor Mohawk carrying an "I Believe" sign.

[epow]

[You can determine their numbers by checking the backs of their necks for small green leafy growths ala “Attack of the Body Snatchers.”]

OK, that does it for me, I'm finding me another fundy group to hang with. Not only was I not given the secret code book and my own walkie-talkie by my present pastor, now I find that I should have gotten the super-secret neck implant as well. All I got was this dumb old decoder ring that won't even stay on my finger.

[epow]

[And don’t forget about the secret ammo depots hidden in their basements, DUmmie mopaul.]

SEE? SEE? I told you I'm in the wrong church. This bunch of fundies I'm hangin with didn't even tell me about the ammo dump. I had to furnish my own hand grenades at the last live fire training session.

[epow]

Karl Christian Rove's plan is to divide and conquer within. He and the party WANT us hating one another; neighbor against neighbor, father against son, husband against wife etc.

Well, I'm not real fond of my brother in law, so I guess Karl's plan is working.

[Cloverfarm]

If we re-read that, and substitute "Jew" or "black" for "Christian" ... it's creepy. Almost like Klan-speak.

YSIC
Ann

[epow]

Islam will crush the Xtians.

Xtians? That must be some mid-eastern fruit like grapes that Muslims crush for the juice.

Come to think of it, just the other morning at an Arabic restaurant here in town I heard a guy say, "Hey waiter, could I get another glass of Xtian juice to go with my falafel and eggs?"

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Don't fear Islamofascism!!! It's the little old ladies who sing in the church choir that are really dangerous!!!/sarcasm Someone should smack a little bit of common sense into these freaks.